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laserbabe 05/15/2007Miette's bedtime stories are just heavenly, with her delightfully animated voice, the little sounds of her life around her, including her dog, her doors, her local traffic sometimes. Miette,...
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Anonymous 06/04/2005this girl has stumbled on the perfect use for podcasts!
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Episodes
- Of Angleworms and Others
(9mb)
Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:57:02 +0000
So it’s summer right now, if you’re with me hemispherically. Although if you were to zoom in a little closer you’d see that in some places, we’re tying up that chapter, it’s cooling down, and that means it’s time to read you some Tove Jansson. Now, I was going to read you something [...] - Show-and-Tell (18mb)
Mon, 11 Aug 2008 02:27:52 +0000
In the two days since first reading of tonight’s story, I’ve been deeply ensconced with this idea of show-and-tell, to the irrational (read: batshit) point of showing-and-telling the objects comprising the contents of my desk to the various beasts kicking about the place, or showing-and-telling one runty waterlogged piece of the garden to another. [...] - Fun With Your New Head (4mb)
Fri, 01 Aug 2008 18:27:57 +0000
A couplefew nights ago, catatonic with fatigue after a couple days of travel, I found just the right pace of entertainment watching my cat chase a furry little squeaker all around the place. My conscience wouldn’t let me object– it was nature’s way and the mouse deserved whatever was coming to it, after all… [...] - The Self-Contained Compartment (4mb)
Wed, 16 Jul 2008 12:13:25 +0000
During a trip by car I noticed a guy on the phone in a parking lot frantically trying to start his car, a kid really, a kid in trouble, just laying into the ignition while the engine was turning halfway over which indicated, to my limited capacity for automotive troubleshooting, that maybe his vehicle was [...] - The Pukey (8mb)
Mon, 30 Jun 2008 03:34:32 +0000
“But when it thinks, I feel like vomiting.” With these words, it is clear that if Nigel Dennis were still around I’d be his groupie. I’d start the FaceBook Club and make mashups on Youtube for him and disguise myself as an editor at Rolling Stone Magazine to obtain his personal email address, which I [...] - Eveline (7mb)
Tue, 17 Jun 2008 11:20:27 +0000
Were I a listmaker, and perhaps I am, you would be the warm recipient of many reasons to be grateful when the internet goes for broke on Bloomsday. This list, were I to make one, would include the subcategories: FOR ME and FOR YOU. Topping the FOR YOU list, were such a thing [...] - The Cask of Amontillado (11mb)
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:17:41 +0000
So I read in the news today about the Indonesian macaque monkeys who’ve learned to successfully catch fish, and how exciting this is for biology, and how it’s a living and breathing example of the adaptation of a species to its conditions and environment, and really it was all astonishing stuff to read. But [...] - A Rose for Emily (31mb)
Sun, 01 Jun 2008 12:53:59 +0000
So, my "identity" was stolen recently. And not for the sake of sordid members-only internet sites or international travel or a weekend of Spitzering other scandalous activities that, if you're going to have your identity stolen, would constitute Theft in Style. No, my identity was used to buy clip art and stock photography and website services, which is about as exciting as cutting school to go and get a root canal, sneaking out of the house late at night to mow the lawn next door. You get the picture. So a personal note to identity thieves in training: when you're done with me, at least return me with a few heavy anecdotes and a thrilling punked-up haircut. OK? - A Note on the Camping Craze That is Currently Sweeping America (9mb)
Sat, 03 May 2008 03:45:15 +0000
Fishing season began early this year for your Miette, with the streetside discovery of a freshly abandoned goldfish with wonky telescopic eyes, in its bowl and with a note reading: Free Fish! Please Give Steve Buscemi a good home. And of course I did. I found an exceptional home for him, a home where he’s [...] - Truth or Consequences (14mb)
Sat, 19 Apr 2008 01:33:18 +0000
After a week of muscle-burning manual work and long long drives, some of us settle in with a nice cold beer. For others-- maybe like me, who's to say -- it takes more that that... way more, maybe, to relax muscles as sore as these and attempt to put together nerves which have been plucked to the bone. For that reason, perhaps it's best to just shut up and read (if you're me) or grab a beer and listen (if you're you) and maybe write the Pulitzer committee about considering a Podcasting category. - Last Class (21mb)
Fri, 04 Apr 2008 17:00:48 +0000
All week I've been wanting to read this to you, waking up more excited than the trashman on the day-after-Christmas, and running into my.... uh... recording studio (read: three paces from the bed) to see if it's quiet enough... - Binoculars (9mb)
Wed, 26 Mar 2008 01:54:05 +0000
A saw a sign the other day while out on a drive, a sign that said this: Frost Heaves. And I almost had to stop and compose myself, because I was so deeply distressed by the fact that frost can't heave in private (and I'm not a histrionic sort of girl), and saddened that a frost's heave has to be announced clearly for any old asshole who happens to be driving by... - A Handful of Dates (13mb)
Fri, 21 Mar 2008 01:28:30 +0000
The question that's been asked a few times of me now: why don't I read more African writers? Actually, it's been asked more than a few times... enough times, in fact, to warrant the sort of qualifier most accurately described as MANY. - In a Hole (13mb)
Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:07:48 +0000
It's confusing, the name of tonight's author, right? I mean, the better known writer sharing this name didn't bother with a middle pseudonymous initial, and there's a slight tweak to the surname, but we readers would be none the wiser, push-to-shove, and would settle back with a cup of tea and upperclass accent. - Lonesome Road (9mb)
Fri, 29 Feb 2008 02:23:18 +0000
A mildly embarrassing problem when getting under way with tonight's story, confessed in full in these lines: when I first sat down to read it to you this evening, I got caught on a raft in a sea of lexical continental drift, and over and over I stammered out the title only to have it read "Roadsome Load." No kidding: again and again. - Some of Us Had Been Threatening Our Friend Colby (6mb)
Wed, 20 Feb 2008 01:43:07 +0000
As I lay writhing on my sickbed I was catching up on my milehigh stack of unread periodicals, and made my way to an article about one of the leading competitors for an upcoming race for a high position of public office in the country in which I'm living. Because, you know, there aren't many articles written about this, which is surprising, because from the sound of things, the race for this public office is not of no importance.... - Lawyer Kraykowski?s Dancer (16mb)
Tue, 05 Feb 2008 02:16:04 +0000
A few days ago I was driving down the street behind a car which, as was warned by prominent display of rooftop sign, was being operated by a Student Driver... a sign which really wasn't necessary, given the stammering mid-intersection braking and sideview-mirror clipping taking place all the way down the road, and I had this great idea that it'd be a real public service - a true exercise of civic duty - if other drivers could collectively contribute to driving lessons, by driving like raving lunatics around students, just to get them on their toes and on the lookout. - From the Mouths of Buildings (8mb)
Tue, 29 Jan 2008 20:35:27 +0000
A message from the author of today's story: Do you ever wonder as you are reading a story, or hearing one, such as on a podcast, for example, what or whom has inspired a particular story? Picture this: imaginary "directions" or "instructions" for a story that the author creates-- after the story has been written--or told. Imagine that these "directives" led to this story--which in actuality they did not--well at least the author had no idea of any directives of any sort when the story came into being. - Youth, Beautiful Youth (49mb)
Tue, 08 Jan 2008 03:27:52 +0000
Returning soon with a much-awaited all-new MBSP. Leaving you with a mightylong one to hold you till (the longest yet in one sitting, I think). For Dream, remembered always, and loved even longer. - Fedya Davidovich (6mb)
Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:58:23 +0000
HEY, Internet, I want to tell you all about Earideas. Wow, that sounded a little snake-oily- let me try that again: - The Assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered as a Downhill Motor Race (7mb)
Tue, 04 Dec 2007 18:19:00 +0000
I was thinking about the last story I read to you, and thinking it’d be nice if other events of this variety, the sort of events that are difficult to explain to small children, were similarly reimagined. And not just on a large scale, either. I’m talking about The Pulling of My Wisdom [...] - The Passion Considered as an Uphill Bicycle Race (7mb)
Wed, 28 Nov 2007 22:27:04 +0000
I hope those of you celebrating All Things Autumnal are settling into it well, the roast fowl and the hot cacao and woodfire smoke for dessert, and, well, you know the picture I'm aiming for here. It does wonders to the general countenance, I think: - Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? (43mb)
Fri, 09 Nov 2007 16:23:54 +0000
I read in the news yesterday that television writers here in the U.S. have gone on strike, and that because of the strike, everybody's arms are collectively thrown up in a great wide panic, because nobody knows what's going to happen on Charmed and because there's nobody to script the next great Wardrobe Malfunction, and this sounds like very bad news indeed and I was sorry to read it. - The Bell Tone (12mb)
Fri, 26 Oct 2007 03:52:07 +0000
At times during my podcastressing career, I have stumbled upon authors about whom I know very little, and have been fortunate to find that you, resourceful mariners of the Internet's belly, have proven yourselves well worth your collective avoirdupois in gold and other fine metals, and for that, I thank you. - The Lady of the House of Love (41mb)
Fri, 12 Oct 2007 18:25:37 +0000
Andrea was kind enough to suggest and supply a sufficiently Halloweeny bit of ghoulishness to reconcile the setback of temporary lack of access to mine own troves. In the hopes of exponentially increasing the sympathy factor, let it be known that in addition to being without books, the chief operating offices of Miette's bedtime have been largely internet-free for the past weeks, in what would, under normal circumstances, - The Red Room (21mb)
Fri, 28 Sep 2007 01:36:58 +0000
So listen, about today's story, well, as you'll know when you listen to the first minute, I'm running low on resources at the moment, tapped, so to speak, at least, until things are nice and orderlied again. - The Fly (13mb)
Mon, 17 Sep 2007 18:07:11 +0000
While settling in and to avoid the appearance of mothballs, here's another Mansfield. And while this isn't the first time we've rocked her boat, she's a voice so nice I'll read her unspliced. - I See You Never (8mb)
Mon, 27 Aug 2007 16:51:23 +0000
Last night, I was thinking of what to write to you today while starting to doze off just prior to handing over the wheel. I woke up with one of those Holy Mother I'm Dozing Off kind of starts, and, as I was now more alert than usual during this leg of the trip, I made the sad discovery that what I'd read as the Bikini Avenue Exit was actually something far more G-Rated, and significantly less scandalous. - Fear (12mb)
Thu, 09 Aug 2007 06:12:22 +0000
Where I am, dear listeners, it's hot. And for reasons which terrify some, confound others, and lead to the sort of mass collective eye-rolling that I'd rather avoid (because the energy produced therein would raise the outside temperature another half-degree), I'm not the sort to articondition the air. Which means: it's hot, here, big vats of frying oil hot, and there's no reprieve inside these walls. - Virtuoso (14mb)
Sat, 21 Jul 2007 22:24:09 +0000
Herbert Goldstone, what are you going to tell me about him? Writes crazy sci-fi about thinking machines more human than man. This story in dozens of brilliant anthologia. Very little else to be found. The wiki draws a blank. This story is not a drop shy of Wondrous. - How the World Was Saved (11mb)
Wed, 11 Jul 2007 21:06:38 +0000
A delivery truck pulled out in front of me the other day, freshly deflowered by a graffiti artist who chose to express him- or herself by relaying the following, in big blue caps: I LOVE SARAH, KINDA? - Sarah Cole (45mb)
Sat, 30 Jun 2007 06:09:43 +0000
Some days, as a podcastress, you find that it's about a billion and two degrees of sour sunshined degrees outside, measured by the scales of Daniel or Anders either/or, and while the last thing you feel like doing might involve heavy lifting dressed in black, the next to last thing, on days such as those, might involve trying to get discernible sound and meaning to emerge from your throat. - Araby (13mb)
Sat, 16 Jun 2007 09:00:04 +0000
Happy Bloomsday to you, and happy third Bloomsday podcast from your Miette, an event which many of you will remember is dear to me. - Inflexible Logic (16mb)
Thu, 14 Jun 2007 00:23:01 +0000
Dearest listeners of the internet, I know. I've been gone. Many of you have pointed this out to me, though by the time I returned to read your pleas and queries, I was back, relieved of goneness, and racked with guilt over how abandoned you'd all been left, was at a loss at what I might read to redeem myself. - Everything (26mb)
Wed, 23 May 2007 21:42:52 +0000
A caveat for you listeners. Hell, a full-out warning: this is a long one, today's story, long and, dare I say it, a little dark, and not in the "change the bulb" sort of way. Which is just my way of saying to you: - The Dancing Bear (11mb)
Wed, 09 May 2007 21:34:07 +0000
As a rule, yours (very) truly takes a big dollop of pleasure in knowing just a little something about the authors I'm reading to you. Where there are exceptions, they are serious exceptions, resuscitated from beyond the brink and leaving their snot in my mouth. - A Literary Adventure (15mb)
Thu, 26 Apr 2007 07:09:39 +0000
Never having been one for bandwagonry (after all, the bumper's too high for me to jump, and I don't have much in the way of carnival skills from which is allegedly derived the phrase), but it can't be helped: if everybody and their thrice-removed step-great-uncle - Nobody in Hollywood
Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:08:11 +0000
If I were a state fair judge offering blue ribbons after thoroughly scrutinizing the stories that have been read to you to-date, tonight’s would be a heavy competitor for Most Gut-Bursting Opener in American Short Fiction, specifics of which, there’s nobody can offer sympathy like me. And I’m pitting this as the prizewinning hen [...] - Two Gentle People (11mb)
Tue, 03 Apr 2007 06:23:50 +0000
Riding the big train today and started to daydream, in the daydreamy style of reductive logic unique to the accompaniment of a train horn, the subject which was What I Might Read to the Internet Tonight. - Love in the Winter (19mb)
Thu, 15 Mar 2007 04:03:27 +0000
Given that Tonight's Story invokes the Mann Act, and given that the Mann Act is bar-none the best Congressional Act of 1910 (and I dare you to find a better one. I mean, Chuck Berry was charged with violating the Mann Act. Frank Lloyd Wright too.) - One?s Ship (6mb)
Thu, 08 Mar 2007 03:04:19 +0000
The news today tells us that a respected literary journal (not to be named here) has just released a list of names they consider to be The Best Young American Novelists, and among them, a full third of these names have not yet had a novel published. And that's kind of odd. - The Hour of Letdown (6mb)
Fri, 23 Feb 2007 07:43:36 +0000
What we’ve got going on here, for those assiduous enough to parse their eyes over these words (and I suspect that I’m not speaking about many of you, that most of you just download the listening bits, which is quite all right) — but for those of you reading, I thought I’d thank you with [...] - Tobermory (12mb)
Fri, 09 Feb 2007 16:37:49 +0000
At times, this little podcast of ours is thought of not unlike a nice helping of ice milk-- not bad for you, tasty even, in the right circumstances, but of questionable nutritional value. Not harmful, necessarily, but nothing that might be considered Useful For You. At then sometimes, someone will say otherwise, and that's not bad, usefulness. - The Haile Selassie Funeral Train (9mb)
Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:45:06 +0000
NOTA BENE This podcast is published with permission of the Guy Davenport estate. To further enjoy the works of Mr. Davenport, please see amazon.comor abebooks.
- The Deal (13mb)
Wed, 17 Jan 2007 06:08:21 +0000
Listening to this one earlier, I noticed something. A noise, behind the entire story, not unpleasant, entirely, but a nuisance, distracting, and not unfamiliar. And then it hits: The dog, oft noted in these recordings, had used the moments of storytelling to enjoy an early repast. And given the fact that a) the dog lacks lips - The Westinghouse Brake (3mb)
Sat, 06 Jan 2007 20:28:24 +0000
Plenty of you (because I'm supposing you're all geniuses) are aware of the arguably unattributable (King Solomon? Buddha? Lincoln? Miette?) aphorism, idiom, and, notably, universally applicable phrase "This Too Shall Pass. - The Necrophil (19mb)
Sun, 31 Dec 2006 20:37:59 +0000
While I suspect that some of you might be nursing a yen for happy wishful and firmly resolved pick-me-up for annus novus, be warned that it's not going to happen with today's story, with which you should prepared. If, on the other hand, you need a story in preparation for dirtying your hands or drinking too much, consider yourself In Luck. - Mr. Blue (10mb)
Wed, 20 Dec 2006 20:48:12 +0000
To offset or maybe just counterpoise the thin slice of news conveyed in the audio introduction to today's story, which, as has recently been pointed out to this podcastress, might be the most poetic science headline ever: - A Letter to A.A. (Almost Anybody) (14mb)
Sat, 09 Dec 2006 17:42:14 +0000
In the interest of spitting a sluicy cobwebbed thread to tie together the conversations in and around this corner of the infoweb and its earbound counterpart, I wanted to offer up one more chance to allow our space to double as the hotbed of information on the social and biological activities of the Tree Squirrel, and bring some attention to our relationship with tree squirrels. - Texts for Nothing (VIII) (6mb)
Tue, 28 Nov 2006 20:33:11 +0000
Because nothing says Hither Holiday Season like the Kris Kringle of Krabby, and because as you will soon hear, your Miette has learnt that nothing says Hither Holidays like a Headcold, tonight's story speaks for its self. - Except for the Sickness I?m Quite Healthy Now. You Can Believe That. (24mb)
Tue, 21 Nov 2006 08:42:35 +0000
Nice title, right? In my efforts to knock your socks to obscurantist skies, I'm willing to offer a dollar to the first listener who can prove he or she already knows of this story (currently in the running (BY THE WAY) for Miette's Top Short Fiction Find of the Decade, and how's that for a reason to listen?). And how to prove this? I don't know. - The Picnic of Mores the Cat (8mb)
Mon, 13 Nov 2006 01:42:22 +0000
Today's is another story by an author of whom I know very little, which I've plucked from a collection of Big Guns German fiction including Thomas Mann's Death in Venice, Kafka's Metamorphosis, Hoffmansthall, Hermann Broch, ad krautium, - My Bludjeon and the Bobbed White (4mb)
Fri, 10 Nov 2006 03:47:20 +0000
But would you believe that I spent the last couple of weeks dedicated to trying mightily and hard to uncover the identity of tonight's author before hurling the fruits of these findings to splat on your walls. Maybe I spent the week after mired in self-pity at having failed you... failed YOU, the Internet, whom I adore. - On a Grand Scale (6mb)
Mon, 23 Oct 2006 01:50:50 +0000
So, Ilf and Petrov met while working on a newspaper for railway workers, which is intriguing to me. For starters, where's the podcastresses' newspaper, and why have I not been invited to participate? My life's literary collaborator could be waiting there, slinging the pen on the audio-coding equivalent to pieces on socialism and coal hauling, - Talpa (12mb)
Sun, 15 Oct 2006 21:21:26 +0000
Another Listener has asked whether I might be kind enough to share a few words about my reading process for aspiring podcasters and podcastresses. I am, of course, always glad to share secrets, although in this case I don't think there's anything illuminating about it. In typical sarcastresse fashion, I could just say that it's a matter of opening a book and opening a mouth. - The Scarlet Ibis (Unabridged) (19mb)
Fri, 06 Oct 2006 18:16:21 +0000
I know the great controvery of the Scarlet Ibis has bothered you, and I confess to great shame at using this controversy to draw attention away from the various corporate scandals, celebrity affairs, and political horrors that are sucking the steam off the almost pervasive media coverage known to some as HurstGate. - The Scarlet Ibis (6mb)
Sat, 30 Sep 2006 23:13:29 +0000
A Listener (you know who you are) wrote to me recently requesting that I laugh hysterically for fifteen minutes into my microphone and post this as a short story for you. Now, while I agree that this would be a particularly amusing johncagey experiment, I have not, unfortunately, seen hyenaic laughter transcribed this way, [...] - The Joke (6mb)
Mon, 25 Sep 2006 09:00:14 +0000
Does the title of today's story affect you in such a way that the person nearest you is now asking what you're sighing about? Or maybe you rolled your eyes so far to the side that you now have a stress headache and need to refocus before reading the rest of this blurb? (If so, please, take a moment. - Se?Payroll (7mb)
Tue, 12 Sep 2006 02:19:48 +0000
There is a bottling facility close to where I live, and while "bottling facility" might look like elusive high-security stuff to the random passerby, between you and I, it's best described as a warehouse for bottled beers. - The Conjurer Made Off with the Dish (10mb)
Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:16:55 +0000
If this podcast was Miette's Themetime Story Podcast, the theme of today's story might be 'coming-of-age,' or it might be 'how to make beans in Egypt,' or maybe it's 'reverence,' or perhaps it might be nothing more than 'how to charm the socks right off of both feet of Miette.' Outstanding questions, answers, and requests to come, but this first for evident reasons. - Fard (9mb)
Wed, 30 Aug 2006 04:28:14 +0000
Because I am a good, supportive, helpful sort, I took a friend recently to purchase a new pair of running trainers. Which isn't a very exciting way to begin a pre-podcastal anecdote, but don't go away yet! You see, it wasn't at all what I'd come to expect from my Friendly Local Sneaker Salesperson. No! - The Dark Lantern (9mb)
Thu, 24 Aug 2006 09:29:41 +0000
As you know, there's not much room on these pages for political soapboxing, both because there are already plenty of internet playgrounds for that sort of thing, and because I'd rather freestyle on such endlessly gripping topics as the weather or this podcast's sound quality. However. I have an opinion that must be voiced. - Sophistication (12mb)
Sun, 20 Aug 2006 07:59:16 +0000
Today's bedtime story has been requested by Patrick (as for the O'Connor, I will do, yes, but for now, have you heard this one?), and I looked all over town but couldn't find a more appropriate selection for today, so you should all join me now in thanking him. - The Five Boons of Life (4mb)
Tue, 15 Aug 2006 18:33:52 +0000
My friends and compeers and heroes at Librivox are celebrating their first birthday right now, and so I felt it necessary to add my kudos to their basic first-year achivements: - How the Devil Lost His Poncho (4mb)
Wed, 09 Aug 2006 17:33:44 +0000
A question too often asked of me: how is a specific story or specific author on a specific day selected? Rather than answer the question directly (because what's the use of renting one's own outdoor space if not to desultorily blather around or plant cobwebbish morning glories around it?), I thought I would instead give you insight into the metrics, processes, and rationale behind today's selection. Steel yourselves: - The Riddle (6mb)
Sat, 05 Aug 2006 18:03:44 +0000
The plot of tonight's story involves a gaggle of young children who go to stay with their frail old grandmother, and who, more or less, are swallowed up by a house that I imagine to be uniformly mothballish and denture-gluey in nature. And I'm disclosing this to you now not so that I might spoil it for you (because I'm sure you're all remarkably brilliant listeners who are after more than rote high-concept plot anyhow), BUT! - XXII (3mb)
Fri, 28 Jul 2006 23:42:00 +0000
For your bonus bedtime track this week, I've decided to double up on (I suppose?) relative abstrusity, author-wise. But this time, I'm in the fortunate position of already knowing and loving and potentially endlessly blathering about today's subject, to prevent us all from hitting the high mile dudgeons ove - The Lottery Ticket (5mb)
Tue, 25 Jul 2006 17:56:46 +0000
Is there anybody out there who has a cure for acute compulsion? The thought had entered my mind that I had very little knowledge of tonight's author, and that, further, I was quite curious to know what he looked like. And, given the tendency toward googlification of the nubs of my fingers, this curiosity was one that I felt compelled to satisfy. - Do Stay, Giraffe (4mb)
Tue, 18 Jul 2006 18:45:37 +0000
Okay, adventure seekers, listen up! For reasons that need not be enumerated here, I should warn you that tonight's story was recorded in a hushed whisper, late at night, and I didn't dare play it back to sample the condign commission of my own bedtime story. In other words, it was read quietly and is being posted blindly. - His Mother (18mb)
Mon, 10 Jul 2006 21:03:03 +0000
In general, I don't like to use these few pre-sound-bytes of Web page space to be topical for reasons that I hope are obvious (I'm not here to depress you), but I can't help but make note of the talking chimps who've gabbed their way back to the news. Now, there are plenty of questions here for an autodidactic but still dilettantish (honestly pedestrian) linguist who moonlights as podcastresse-- - The Lord Chandos Letter (17mb)
Fri, 07 Jul 2006 06:17:07 +0000
Allow me now to guide you most gently out of the first week of July: those of you in America, lie on your side and listen quietly, finding pause only to burp out the last taste of your hotdogmatic overindulgences. Just focus on the voice -- the beer is two days old and will make its way to the outer side of your pores eventually, I promise -- and let me repeat -- you are NOT going to always feel this way. - The Life You Save May Be Your Own (17mb)
Tue, 27 Jun 2006 18:00:33 +0000
WhoAm asks whether Flannery O'Connor can be expected soon. Now, I'd thought of saving O'Connor for a while, for obvious (or perhaps not-so-much-so) reasons: the desire to wait until my face gets older and wrinkles become a more permanent part of its own social fabric, or maybe I've wanted to save her for the debut of the sequel to Miette's Bedtime Story Podcast. - Mr. Andrews (7mb)
Fri, 23 Jun 2006 05:07:39 +0000
A Warning: it's that time of year where, given the current coordinates of yrs (truly!), you may be exposed to endless nattering about heat exhaust and revelation of podcasts recorded in ice-cubey bathtubs and a relentless boycott of any outergarment. And I hope you will consider this a proper warning because I will, as desperation sets in, become especially doting to those of you in Nordic states, at the poles, or even in climate controlled golf carts (solar-powered of course), I might beg, or quickly become your best friend. - The Sisters (11mb)
Sat, 17 Jun 2006 05:01:48 +0000
When we compare tonight's with last year's Bloomsday podcast, just t' pose a friendly comparison, we see an almost incredible improvement in sound quality, due either to a highly paid audio engineer or a reluctant purchase of a piece of equipment. - Absent-Mindedness in a Parish Choir (4mb)
Wed, 14 Jun 2006 19:23:29 +0000
Have waited nearly a year to read Hardy on his birthday, because I strongly suspect that Hardy’s just the sort of guy who should be birthdayishly feted, and in neither in an ironic nor a pointy-paper-hat way. I missed his birthday, as it happens, but not by long… and actually, missing it seems appropriately [...] - Rain (11mb)
Fri, 09 Jun 2006 03:24:53 +0000
Yes, I've missed you too and thanks for the well wishes, and yes, you're right: it would have been RAD to podcast from a women's prison passing the mic around my circle of hardened women criminals and reading while taking turns with the tattoo needle. Maybe next time. - The Shepherd?s Daughter (3mb)
Fri, 26 May 2006 09:45:47 +0000
Perhaps you might use Miette's short sabbatical to catch up on some of the classics that you might have missed the first time around. - The Pearl of Toledo (3mb)
Wed, 24 May 2006 07:58:51 +0000
True to form here's a nice short one to balance out the more time-demanding Gogol from last time. And let me add that just because it's short doesn't mean it's not gruesome, contentious, vitriolic, or even a little caustic, because when lagged by the potentate of a jet, that's all you want waiting for you at home: - The Diary of a Madman (30mb)
Thu, 18 May 2006 08:23:17 +0000
Ahh, so you've noticed that I still hadn't read any Gogol, despite a-hundred-some readings including enough of a Russian contingency to keep a stronghold on the world weight-lifting championships for the next few centuries, and despite a story by an Italian all about Gogol, in its own peculiar way. - Prizes (9mb)
Sun, 14 May 2006 07:03:48 +0000
I'm going to keep this one short, because you really ought to be phoning your mothers right about now. And tidying your rooms. And standing up straight. And not talking with your mouths full. And not wasting your money on chewing gum and nosejobs. And not making that face, unless you want it to get stuck that way. - The Lost Soul (6mb)
Wed, 10 May 2006 07:40:35 +0000
Do you know about Ben Hecht? I only ask because a lot of people don't, and because as a responsible Purveyor of Fine Information I ought to clue you in, and in the interest of living up to such, I should tell you that Ben Hecht was best known to many as a screenwriter, that the same mind is to be held accountable (in some ways) for Hitchcock's Notorious, His Girl Friday, Gone with the Wind, and Scarface, although largely in an uncredited stop-the-presses-who-can-fix-this capacity. - Jewellery (10mb)
Fri, 05 May 2006 08:02:24 +0000
Maybe I'm obsessing a little over the idea of tissue cultures, but I can't help it - it's my personality. But tissue culture and bedtime stories, of course! It takes me back to when I first discovered I could put the -expensive- mustard on my tofupups: prior to the discovery, it seems inconceivable, then suddenly nothing short of self-evident. - Gogol?s Wife (19mb)
Mon, 01 May 2006 05:06:33 +0000
There might be times when you're reading the newspaper and you sit up straight and say to yourself something exuberantly monologic, such as "HOLD THE PHONE, this is ACTUAL news, I need to remember where I was when I read this, which is RIGHT HERE" and then you take a mental inventory and make sure that twenty or thirty years from now, you'll remember? - An Attempt at Reform (5mb)
Thu, 27 Apr 2006 07:14:23 +0000
We all have those odd things that happen to us more often than we might owe to nature or coincidence. Some people find themselves on their fourth marriage to a fourth guy named Mario*; it happens. For me, that thing is the ceilings. In my apartments. That seem to have a difficult time staying above my head. - How Light Belief Bringeth Damage (3mb)
Sat, 22 Apr 2006 06:37:40 +0000
A fable! About thieves and liars and moonlit wishes, fair ladies, conjurations and broken bones. Not your mother's fable-- no talking animals here. (This, a short entry for the same reason as short fable, which I'd post invisibly if you could read my mind, or at least my file structure, and know where to find it. I'm supposed to be in bed!) - Slipping Beauty (7mb)
Thu, 13 Apr 2006 22:23:33 +0000
I know that I should be wishing some of you happy Passover, others happy Easter, others the goodliest of Fridays. But more importantly, more important than sweet Haroseth and pastel eggs and chocolate covered matzoh shaped as salty rabbits, let us not forget today's holiday, the one hundredth anniversary of Samuel Beckett's birth, which is deserving of thrice-leavened gilded eggshells. - The Boy Who Drew Cats (5mb)
Mon, 10 Apr 2006 02:29:13 +0000
I packaged up, compressed, and uploaded today's episode before discovering that I had inadvertently mentioned the brand name of a popular consumer product in the few introductory seconds before the story starts, so I thought it might be wise for me to insert a little disclaimer, for the sake of my legal hide. Here goes: - The Yellow Wallpaper (23mb)
Tue, 04 Apr 2006 07:49:27 +0000
From over here, Evie says: I would like to recommend "The Yellow Wallpaper" by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. It has to be my favorite short story... no matter how many times I read it it still gives me the chills! - He Swung and He Missed (11mb)
Thu, 30 Mar 2006 04:34:57 +0000
When you listen today, I will disclaim now, you will hear a boxing story. Not to be confused with the Clint Eastwood boxing story, or the other girlie fight boxing story, or the what's-his-brutish-name-from-New-Zealand-with-the-attitude, not that one either. - The Ghosts (7mb)
Wed, 22 Mar 2006 07:50:45 +0000
Don’t say I didn’t warn you about today’s story, because admittedly, I didn’t warn you yet, but I’m about to: it’s a scary one. Frightful! It might cause you to go to sleep with all the lights on, and even then, you might suffer nightmares. You might find yourself short of breath, [...] - The Chaser (4mb)
Sat, 18 Mar 2006 05:22:47 +0000
I have to tell you about a brilliant little moment that happened today. I was on a train, at an hour in which far too many people take the train, leaving us all sardinically resentful of one another's smells, oversized totebags, and inter-seasonal viruses. This was, or would have been, evidenced by an isolated high-pitched sneeze from the far end of the car, -except- that from the far side of the other end, someone yelled out a brazen "bless you!" - Zelig (9mb)
Tue, 14 Mar 2006 07:05:43 +0000
I beg and implore you, dear listener: don?t be misled by the title of today?s podcast. Today?s story features neither the lovely Ms Farrow in her prime ?nor- jokes about Hasidim, dental extractions, or polygamy. However, if you can recommend a story about any or all of these subjects, a cookie and a song for you. - Charles (7mb)
Thu, 09 Mar 2006 18:59:23 +0000
In the plot of today's story, you will find mentioned a real-world conversational device that I can't help but love, in a guiltily pleasuristic sort of way. I'm not sure what to call it, though I'm sure the modern linguists have had their way with it. - Camera Obscura (18mb)
Sun, 05 Mar 2006 05:58:55 +0000
I've just spent the past hour editing down today's podcast while witnessing the almost compulsive bathing, brushing, trimming, grooming, and otherwise torturing my beast by someone who claims to enjoy this sort of thing. - I?m Your Horse in the Night (5mb)
Sun, 26 Feb 2006 08:08:27 +0000
Ow. It hurts to type this right now, and I'm not talking about the endless afflictions of emotional pain. This is not something I'm especially proud of, no way, but to be entirely honest with you, because I like you: a little too much had been drunk last night (and I'm not talking about water), by me. - It Had To Be Murder (part 2) (20mb)
Tue, 21 Feb 2006 01:11:37 +0000
Yes, I have mighty big arms to give myself such a massive self-congratulatory bearhug, but, you know, I'm entitled, it's my special day. And so, here are a couple of things I am considering for my next one hundred podcasts: -- podcast in Estonian -- serialise a novel (eh, a short one) - It Had To Be Murder (part 1) (20mb)
Mon, 20 Feb 2006 23:21:02 +0000
I began scheming for the one hundredth podcast several weeks ago, thinking that I'd gather all the voices that were most important to me, personally and podcastionally, share the wealth and spread the love, and, let's be honest, go soak on a beach in a land where all the drinks are pink, while all my friends hang out in the trenches of pops and hisses. - The Rain Collector (2mb)
Sun, 12 Feb 2006 06:34:36 +0000
Chances are, you're going to listen to today's podcast and think: "That's it?" Or "maybe the audio file got cut off... I'm missing half the story!" Or "Miette's such a lazy snot to pick such a short story." But the truth is: I am lazy, it's true, but that's never stopped me in the past from reading much longer pieces, you know this! However, the next one, the very special one, is going to be among the longest ever podcasted, and I wanted to make sure you were ready and well-rested for it. - Why I Transformed Myself Into a Nightingale (7mb)
Thu, 09 Feb 2006 07:20:29 +0000
There's this new higher-than-hightech device that's now mine, intended to make my podcasts sound better for you, and while I'm not sure of its success rate at doing so, I do know that it's got every kind of tech-sounding hypermegaphonics that should make it crisper than a blade of grass blowing in the wind in Surround Sound (do you know they really make those noises using cabbages! - A Wedding Dress (6mb)
Sun, 05 Feb 2006 20:13:33 +0000
So sport seems to be in the air these days. There's something going on tonight involving hundreds of pounds of helmets and costumery, complete with grandiose spectacle and and pretend warriors, and I'm told this has nothing to do with Wagner. We'll see. And the Internet tells me the Olympics are coming up soon, though I thought we just finished with one of them? And let us not forget a tiny little event called the World Cup... - The Kiss (6mb)
Thu, 02 Feb 2006 07:14:48 +0000
There are a few things that leave you so exhilarated, enchanted with simultaneous possession and dispossession, blown away punch-in-the-belly style by battles of bliss and bewilderment. It is these moments, precious listeners, that are boiling the bean this eve. Podcasters and/or storytellers among you might be familiar with the feeling from the discovery of a new story, - An Unimportant Affair (4mb)
Fri, 27 Jan 2006 04:53:56 +0000
Don't let the title of tonight's bedtime story deceive you... this is actually an affair of considerable importance. Consider, for example, the success that is XBox. Or the X-Men. Or X-Treme Sports, for that matters. And the importance of X as a roman numeral. Or X as a universal icon of the unknown. - The Foreigner (5mb)
Sat, 21 Jan 2006 20:09:49 +0000
The other day, I dropped off my laundry on my way to work as I do sometimes (because some things you really should leave to the professionals). This was a different laundrette, one that stays open a half hour later, because sometimes I've been unfortunate enough to miss the closing due to a late night at the office, - A Private Possession (10mb)
Sun, 15 Jan 2006 21:29:28 +0000
Questions That Have Been Asked, at Varying Levels of Frequency, of Miette and Her Podcast: How did this get started? - Kong at the Seaside (8mb)
Thu, 12 Jan 2006 08:00:33 +0000
A riddle: What could possibly be better than an unexpected new book of short fiction turning up in your mailbox? The answer: When that new book includes short fiction from Zamiatin, Zweig, Zantner, and Zugsmith. - The Bill (18mb)
Mon, 09 Jan 2006 10:21:50 +0000
A few blocks down from my apartment is a utility pole, and on that utility pole someone has graffitoed the following in black marker: "Romanse [sic] is the death of enlightenment" - Roses, Rhododendron (31mb)
Fri, 06 Jan 2006 17:23:35 +0000
The other day, I broke from my own morning convention and fetched my AM coffee from a coffee chain whose name shall not be uttered on this page. It was quite likely the simplest order the coffee-servicer had fulfilled that day: a no-frills “medium coffee,” with nothing even vaguely representing an “-ino” suffix, [...] - The Primer of Love (27mb)
Sun, 01 Jan 2006 20:18:27 +0000
8 of Miette's 2006 Predictions for the New Year: -- I will really really do all those things I meant to do in 2005, including those things in 2005 I was really really going to do after neglecting in 2004. -- Ditto 2003. -- When thinking of these podcasts, I'll follow at least three of the Dalai Lama's instructions, and be better off for it. (Though that one about silence; I'm doubting I can do much with that one.) - A Poetics for Bullies (48mb)
Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:33:43 +0000
All week I've been in the nether regions, the sticks, the country, the bucolic boonies, the hinterregions of the backwoods, fretting over how much I'd have to read to you upon my return, how many hours I'd have to try my larynx to make it up to you, just how many stories I'd have to penitently tell. - Which? (15mb)
Mon, 26 Dec 2005 06:49:40 +0000
Not necessarily a festive mistletoe-and-chestnut sort of story, thus, but for those in need, want, or glimmering hope of a holiday story, this unpodcasted tale from the vaults should suffice. Happy days, holly and otherwise! - The Vertical Fields (6mb)
Sun, 18 Dec 2005 03:48:24 +0000
There's a common Yoruban idiom, "oruko lonro ni," which means, more or less, that your name affects your actions, defines your character, determines your destiny. For instance, if you're named Lady, you're going to end up exceptionally feminine. If your parents were brazen enough to name you Klepto, you might find yourself in a spot of trouble. - On an Experience in a Cornfield (10mb)
Wed, 14 Dec 2005 07:55:39 +0000
What else is a podcastress to do when a great writer dies? Sheckley wrote hundreds of exceptional stories, hundreds, and though I wouldn't rate this one his best (I See a Man Sitting in a Chair, and the Chair is Biting His Leg rates high on my list, and very few of life's experiences top a first glance at Can You Feel Anything When I Do This? (and I'm only just barely exaggerating)). - The Beggarwoman of Locarno (8mb)
Sat, 10 Dec 2005 05:44:56 +0000
This morning, as with all mornings, I took She Who Must Bark At The Most Inconvenient Times on an early morning walk, which, given the several feet of snow on the ground (read: a few inches), was less an "early morning walk" than a "mighty difficult time staying afoot for the bipedal member of the walking party, as the bipedal-squared one trounced happily and darted into snowbanks and tried her best to cause the amputation of the fingers on my icicly leash-bearing hand." - Cancer (16mb)
Tue, 06 Dec 2005 16:41:04 +0000
I know, I know. It's morning. Nowhere near your bedtime. You listen now and get all confused, expecting a glass of warm milk and sugarplum dreams, only to discover it's ten in the morning and you've got to drag yourself to work. It's just, well, Out Of The Ordinary that I'd be sending a story now. But Boris Vian. - The Starvelings (23mb)
Sat, 03 Dec 2005 02:13:29 +0000
I've had a long meeting with myself just now, myself, who has been thinking for months that I ought to read Mann for you. After all, Mann is nothing if not the one empty corner in the squathouse of growing up, and although my romance with Mann ended years ago, I can still smell him at the thought... you know how it is. And so, month after month, I look at his stories, and I Just. Don't. Know. - Cruise (Letters From a Young Lady of Leisure) (13mb)
Tue, 29 Nov 2005 04:03:17 +0000
Darling Listeners Thought Id try an experiment and read something that was obviously designed to be read on the page and not delivered aloud bedtimestorily. But after that bit in Bookforum I'm just so v. curious how all these things sound you see, goodness how sad, and you'll just have to indulge me. - The Chrysanthemums (30mb)
Fri, 25 Nov 2005 20:14:17 +0000
For years, the only time I've ever been the slightest bit jealous of my carnivorous confreres has been in those moments after a Thanksgiving feast, watching them settle into the tryptofanatical haze of blissful near-slumber. The rest of the year I laud my healthful eating habits, but in those moments while sitting sprightly and alert at attention after the traditional Overindulgence In Side Dishes that defines the plight of non-flesheaters at such feasts, - The Crack-Up (16mb)
Sun, 20 Nov 2005 19:21:59 +0000
If Miette's Bedtime Story Podcast was a CD**, today's would be the secret bonus track hidden at the very end. If this was called Miette's Bedtime Story TV Miniseries, today's would be the Exciting Second Half that you'd be Staying Tuned for, except without the special effects. If it was Miette's Bedtime Story Green Salad, this would be the succulent bite of endive to Friday's sweet pear. - Jemima, The Mountain Girl (13mb)
Sat, 19 Nov 2005 04:23:13 +0000
Okay, someone was a little smartasinine requesting this one, for reasons that most of you will never know, given that this is not one of those soundbiting autobiographic shows and hence most of you don't know that my real name is, in fact, Jemima, and I, too, paid my way through school with whiskey. Curious, that. - The Dilettante (27mb)
Sun, 13 Nov 2005 19:03:36 +0000
I dreamt last night that I made a big squash soup for an even bigger party, a party full of people from the past-- people I hadn't seen in years and didn't care about when I did see them. I was nervous; it was a recipe I hadn't tried before and I'd decided after a torturous dreamlike decisionmaking process to add a dash of some sort of smuggled mutant super-habanero sauce to the stuff. - On Reugen Island (39mb)
Wed, 09 Nov 2005 05:11:23 +0000
If I could read your mind (and how do you know I can't???), after the first few seconds listening to this podcast I'll bet your mind would say something like this: "I know she said she was sick, but a strepped throat doesn't do that to a voice!" - Wants (6mb)
Sat, 05 Nov 2005 23:58:24 +0000
Well, I didn't think I'd pull this off. A particularly invidious houseguest in the form of streptococcal has left my coccyx surprisingly unscatched, but the pharynx, well, I don't recall gargling with rusted staples after my razorblade dinner, but gosh it hurts in there. And so here I sit, throatily challenged to forego my Saturday podcast, but, compulsive as I am, couldn't stand the thought. - The Judgment (29mb)
Wed, 02 Nov 2005 09:06:52 +0000
A confession: I've been loath to podcast Kafka, only because I wouldn't know which one would be podcastable, which is to say Kafkaesque enough to be delivered storyhour-style, but not so Kafkaesque as to leave listeners beating themselves with the oars used to row the macabre waters of their own tears. You know, that sort of thing. Don't get me wrong, I love that sort of thing. - An Adventure in the Upper Sea (14mb)
Sat, 29 Oct 2005 17:52:58 +0000
Like Miette? Love Jack London? Not getting enough of either today? Don't fear, Librivox is here.