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Penny Haynes
Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:38:59 -0400 - Comedy Clip of the Week: Puns, sponsored by Online Community Magazines
(1mb)
Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:38:59 -0400
In today's Comedy Clip of the Week, we will enjoy some puns sent to me by Joan!
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'
A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close'. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is SO BAD, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Brought to you by Penny Haynes of http://www.OnlineCommunityMagazines.com and http://www.CommercialCreationCenter.com [COMMENT] - Comedy Clip of the Week: Pictures Taken At Just The Right Angle (Video) (2mb)
Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:29:00 -0400
Play today's video by clicking here.In today's Comedy Clip of the Week, we have fun with pictures taken at just the right angles.
Hope you enjoy this week's video comedy podcast - they are a hoot!
Penny Haynes, 1st Podcast Publishing [COMMENT] - Comedy Clip of the Week: Things Kids Say! (4mb)
Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:06:00 -0400Thanks to listener, Lori, for forwarding this great comedy clip to us!
Clean comedy is rare to find, but we search for it, long for it, and then share it.Some of the funniest things are the truest things - stuff we couldn't make up...
And that's what today's Comedy Clip of the Week is all about. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Penny Haynes, Online Community Magazines. [COMMENT] - Comedy Clip of the Week: Flight Attendant, by Online Community Magazines (6mb)
Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:49:25 -0400How many of you consider the Flight Attendant safety speech a boring but necessary evil part of your air travel?
Well not on this flight! This is supposedly a transcript of a real conversation. Even if it isn't, it's still a blast.
I actually experienced something similar on a trip to Michigan once! The Flight Attendant was a scream... (smile)I'm looking for some more comedy (video, audio, image, ebook), so send it on in to share with everyone else.
The text is in the "Read More" section...
Penny Haynes
Online Community Magazines[READ MORE] [COMMENT] - Encouraging Audiobooks' Comedy Clip of the Week: Actual Newspaper Ads (2mb)
Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:33:00 -0400
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER ADS:FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER - 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
FOUND - DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat . been out a while... better be a reward.[COMMENT]COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK, $300, Hardly used. Call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents/lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer. $300
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Bettie.
AND THE BEST ONE)
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia
Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.Comedy Clip of the Week: Devilled Eggs (4mb)
Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:30:00 -0400
I know we've just passed Easter, but I love this story by Angela Gillaspie! Her comedy is perfect because it's real - she shares true stories of her family and her children, and many of us can relate.
Angela has several great comedy and inspirational audio books, safe for the whole family, at http://www.SouthernAngel.com.
Penny Haynes, Online Community Magazines [COMMENT]Comedy Clip of the Week: Beware the Ninja in the Closet! sponsored by 1st Podcast Publishing (1mb)
Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:10:00 -0400Beware the Ninja in the Closet!
This reminds me so much of my son - I could imagine this happening to him!
Penny Haynes, Online Community Magazines [COMMENT]Encouraging Audiobooks' Comedy Clip of the Week: Martha Vs. Maxine (5mb)
Sun, 02 Mar 2008 13:12:00 -0500
[COMMENT]Chuckle for the day! Martha vs Maxine
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.
If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Celery? Never heard of it!
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Leftover wine???????????
HELLO !!!!!!!
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
D o you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.
Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.
Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this week's Comedy Clip of the Week, brought to you by Encouraging Audiobooks. If you would like to share some funny emails, audios or videos, please share them with the rest of the subscribers. Until next week, this is Penny Haynes, of 1st Podcast Publishing.Encouraging Audiobooks' Comedy Clip of the Week: IMAO's Chicken Hawk (2mb)
Sun, 10 Feb 2008 08:36:00 -0500
Click here to listen.
Some more free political satire from IMAO Podcast...hope you're enjoying their comedy. Check them out at www.IMAOPodcast.com. And if you're looking for more free, clean comedy audiobooks to download, you know where to look...Encouraging Audiobooks.
Penny Haynes, Online Community Magazines [COMMENT]Comedy Clip of the Week: Not Necessarily Accurate Facts about Connecticut - by IMAOPodcast. Sponsored by 1st Podcast Publishing (4mb)
Wed, 09 Jan 2008 01:13:00 -0500
Click here to listen.
Ever want to learn about Connecticut? Well, I'm sorry, but you're not going to learn anything accurate today...(smile).
Penny Haynes, Online Community Magazines. [COMMENT]
