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Anonymous 05/20/2006Funny! Feel like I am in their living room, listening in. Divorced or not, they could be on TV, or on The View, or better.
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Episodes
- Getting Phit, Celebs Divorce, We Love Men
(5mb)
Sun, 13 Jul 2008 14:34:00 GMT
In a week of messy celebrity divorces, DD's Laurie suggests Maureen Dowd's New York Times column, "An Ideal Husband," might be worth reading. This edition of DD is much about men, dedicated to men, and we read email from men. Click on the red button, man.
- On the Road to IKEA: DD Goes Mobile (5mb)
Tue, 1 Jul 2008 15:14:00 GMT
Laurie and Laurie podcast from the Lezbaru, on the road in New Jersey. What exit are you from? They hit a thunder storm, bother the new guy, who is in the back seat trying to read and stay out of it, and otherwise give you a tantalizing look behind-the-scenes of the number one divorce podcast on iTunes. This one is a light, frothy summer drink. Play it while you grill, lie on the beach, frolic in the pool.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- Positive Psychologist Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein (5mb)
Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:37:00 GMT
Laurie 2 has an informative interview with positive psychologist Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, author of "The Enchanted Self - A Positive Therapy."
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- Putting Your X In His Place and Out of Yours (6mb)
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:48:00 GMT
As long as you know we don't know what we're talking about, we'll be fine. But third graders are in the know about Obama. In DD64's Listener Mail segment, putting the X in his place and out of your place, a listener wedding, and asking the right questions before getting married. We're still looking for the things you cannot live without, so, send them in. It's been hot and steamy in New York, but we slaved over a hot computer anyway to bring you our latest.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- The Divorce Party (8mb)
Mon, 2 Jun 2008 23:07:00 GMT
Today on DivorcingDaze #63, Laurie 1 interviews Laura Dave, author of "The Divorce Party," just published.
On their 35th anniversary, Gwyn Huntington and her husband Thomas have invited friends and family to their Montauk home. Instead of celebrating their decades-long love, they are toasting their divorce. This also marks the weekend that their son brings home his fiancĆe, Maggie Mackenzie, for the first time. Maggie thought she was joining a perfect family, but she is about to reckon with some uncomfortable truths about the man she wants to marry.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- Wouldn't It Be Fun to Sleep With Someone Else? (6mb)
Thu, 22 May 2008 15:44:00 GMT
In DivorcingDaze 62, Laurie & Laurie want to know...What can't you live without? Some politicians can't seem to live without a second family. You can't live without milk for the kids, dog food, and gas, despite the climbing prices. Some people can't live without Google, but there's a lot to be said for human search engines. And, the headline question, "Wouldn't it be fun to sleep with someone else?" Go ahead, you know you want to...
Click on the nasty red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- How DivorcingDaze Began
Mon, 5 May 2008 18:03:00 GMT
DivorcingDaze actually started as written columns, before the birth of our podcasts. We got so excited with the new podcast technology that we nearly forgot all about them and they lived only on my hard drive. I'm posting them for you to read, not hear. This is where it all began...
TAKE ME TO THE PEAS OF THE POD - DivorcingDaze #61 (5mb)
Sun, 4 May 2008 19:29:00 GMT
In DD 61, dinner out with a seemingly normal family, an exploration of emotional availability and the good fortune of a well-timed vacation round out the 'cast this week. And an interview with the lovely and talented Susan Sarandon, starring in the upcoming "Speed Racer," in which she plays a loving and supportive mom, like in real life. The Lauries are fans. There's more but if we told you here, you wouldn't...
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #60 (7mb)
Sun, 27 Apr 2008 17:48:00 GMT
The hot red boots may be gone, but their souls live on. Laurie & Laurie ponder pigs, pork and park benches. And they wonder what all the buzz is about Dr. Phil and rumors of his divorce. If anyone out there knows the real story, please send the scoop. This podcast is meant for playinā...and you know what to do.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- It's The Laundry That's Dirty, Not the Airing
Tue, 22 Apr 2008 20:24:00 GMT
I should have responded to the article appearing on page ONE of The New York Times (ohmygodohmygodohmygod) four days ago, the day it was printed. In our age of instant communication this would make sense. The article that talked about DivorcingDaze. The article that quoted me. For Peteās sake. Page ONE.
However, I was shell-shocked. Scared. Embarrassed. I wanted to run away and hide. Ironically, I was experiencing the same emotions that scarred my soul five very long years ago after reading Xās Blackberry. Said New York Times article was headlined āWhen the Ex Blogs, the Dirtiest Laundry Is Airedā?. And I felt dirty all over again. Comments screamed ānarcissism,ā? ā bad parenting,ā? āsick societyā? and so on.
Hmmmmmm.
Humans have a need to communicate. At least this human does. I pod to bond. To connect. To share. To help. To feel. What we talk about in our podcast, Iāve discovered, is pretty commonplace. It comes back to us in comments, emails, even āthank yous.ā? And then I feel human again.
Humans are these funny creatures who like to dissect topics blow-by-blow. In our traditional male dominated media, we will over analyze a political race, a game of football, the cost of a barrel of oil all to the nth degree. But what about affairs of the heart? So little airtime and newsprint is devoted to the truly important topics that affect our lives in the most intimate ways. The real life stuff that happens in our homes. In our families. Itās easy to criticize women who blog or podcast about their lives as useless, self-centered, even dangerous. But if what we do gets people talking about their feelings and feeling better for it, how can that be bad? Washington and Wall Street, take note.
The internet changes the power of āthe voice.ā? It gives the power to everyone. Anyone. To women. Even to me. But more importantly, there is an audience for what these women (me) have to say. Or more accurately, have to feel.
As the reporter noted in her article, the Judge acknowledged DivorcingDaze may not be the best thing for co-parenting. I think the Judge is correct, because X sure is angry at me about this. But most things I do make him mad. Like when I read his blackberry that fateful day. Talking to Xās soulmateās husband: Very Mad. The day I accepted an invitation to visit his father and step-mother with our children: Mad. Asking for his flight information when taking our children to Florida: Mad. Breathing air: Mad. (get the picture here?) So if the Judge really knew what went on in real life in the last five years she might have to rule that my being alive is ill-advised for successful co-parenting.
So should I cease and desist in an attempt to appease and placate X? Iāve come close to it. In fact, when I discovered that he discovered DivorcingDaze I took everything down. I was afraid of him. Afraid of his anger. But then I remembered, Iām not married anymore. And his anger should no longer be able to control me. And the podcasts went back up.
The worst thing Iāve said about X in DivorcingDaze is that he lied and cheated. Is it unfair for me to talk about the emotional fall-out when someone cheats and lies? We live in such an imperfect world. It is important to ask the right questions.
So after more contemplation, Iād like to continue with DivorcingDaze. It serves a purpose, people like it, they find it helpful. Hopeful. Sometimes entertaining. And that makes me feel good. Itās just like algebra. If I feel good, I am a better parent. Even a better co-parent. And I think we can all agree a happy mama makes for two very happy children.
I am proud of DivorcingDaze. I am proud of our listeners and of the people who write us. Who connect with us. I am proud of what I have become. And of what I do.
Hibernating all weekend long allowed these dirty feelings of mine to air out. Letās just say that today, I have very clean laundry. - DivorcingDaze #59 (9mb)
Sat, 19 Apr 2008 15:44:00 GMT
Laurie interviews Vanessa Van Petten, author of āYou're Grounded!: How to Stop Fighting and Make the Teenage Years Easierā? and the Teens Today blog.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #58 (6mb)
Fri, 11 Apr 2008 05:24:00 GMT
Tax day is near, time to get your assets in gear. Speaking of assets, Laurie and Laurie ponder their division, including the cleaning lady. Doesn't divorce mean you live in separate homes? And get your own damned doorman? Divide, already! There's more stuff about the significance of sharing assets of the chocolate chip kind, a trip to the Farmer's Market and looking back on love. Check out the Newsweek story on The Divorce Generation in our news section, and some new links to favorite blogs.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DD #57: Case Discussed, Case Dismissed (6mb)
Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:16:00 GMT
"Enough! Alright. This one time, this one time I'll let you ask me about my affairs..." -Michael Corleone
Laurie & Laurie talk about the future of DivorcingDaze, just this once.
Click on the red button.
Photo: Paramount Home Entertainment
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #56 (6mb)
Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:35:00 GMT
DivorcingDaze 56 is not to be missed, so pay attention. Today's discussion ranges from the halls of power to the jungles of Indonesia and is all about cheating, faithfulness, kids, romance and married love. And the Lauries wonder, "Are there any prostitutes listening?"
Monkeys, monogamy, and MĆnage Ć trois are also among the topics today. There are links to the articles referenced in the podcast, below, so put the kids to bed, pour a glass of wine, and start clicking. Oh, and please write to us and tell us if you think Silda should leave Elliot.
The NY Mag Spitzer Article
The Atlantic Monthly Article - Marry Him!
NY Times' Faithfulness Is a Fantasy
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #55 (16mb)
Fri, 14 Mar 2008 03:07:00 GMT
Thank you, Governor Spitzer. L & L discuss the foibles of New York's First Citizen, letters from the Tooth Fairy, tipping gone wild, kid stories, and more. A special musical guest rounds out DivorcingDaze #55. Enjoy!
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #54 (12mb)
Sat, 23 Feb 2008 12:36:00 GMT
There is an old saying, "The camera does not lie." Does your wedding photographer see what you were not yet able to see? Can she predict, through her lens, success or failure in marriage? More on old wedding bands and what to do with them, a call from Hillary and an arresting moment on the subway steps. Laurie and Laurie, podcasting from snowy New York City, in DivorcingDaze 54.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #53 (16mb)
Sat, 9 Feb 2008 21:20:00 GMT
You asked for it, you got it: Laurie2 opens up. Other mysteries solved, answers found in this week's DivorcingDaze. Laurie and Laurie get to the heart of the wedding ring, whatever happened to Rebecca, and sometimes Mr. Rogers says it best.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #52 (9mb)
Mon, 28 Jan 2008 05:21:00 GMT
When your dog is smiling, the whole world smiles with him. As does DivorcingDaze. Today, the Lauries resolve to keep the not-so-new orange sofa coffee-free, deliver red-faced responses to reader mail (from Laurie1's mom) and Laurie2 has the writer's strike blues. Plus, laughing out loud with Nora Ephron, exploring the science of romance and clearing up any remaining confusion about Minstrel Headaches. Oh, and a tip of the pod. Step up and vote row DD.
Click on the red button.
Photo: Elena Seibert Photography
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #51 (10mb)
Wed, 16 Jan 2008 22:45:00 GMT
"Sooner or later all the people of the world will have to discover how to live together."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
If you clink, you drink. Words of wisdom from our own Laurie and Laurie. Fittingly, today's topics include celebrity rehab, being on the verge of vegetarianism, and kids' tips for 40-something moms. Also, Luigi goes green, and Laurie2 forgets herself and gets all dreamy about men in prison. Join the discussion, too, on our Yahoo! Group, by clicking the link at the top of this page.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #50 (8mb)
Mon, 7 Jan 2008 03:39:00 GMT
Oy vey, I'm gay! Transcribe this: Divorced Barbie, a matriarchal tribe in China, shopping adventures at Fairway. Get in the checkout line for DD50, like no other podcast.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- Great News and an Update on Savannah!
Sun, 30 Dec 2007 14:03:00 GMT
On October 31, we posted a message and video link sent to us by a listener in Maryland about a little girl with serious medical problems. (see the video by scrolling down) Well, just last night we received this encouraging email with an update on Savannah's condition:
"I just wanted to update you on some news....
I am the Maryland listener that asked you to post a video on your page about my niece, Savannah. In the middle of the night, my sister received "the call". Savannah had her liver transplant this morning, and there were no complications with her surgery. She is currently in PICU, and we pray that her body accepts the new liver with the aid of medicines. Thank you for taking the time to pass along her story!"
Savannah's Site
We know that we speak for everyone here at DivorcingDaze.com and on the groups and message boards in wishing Savannah all the best for a quick recovery.
- DivorcingDaze #49 (9mb)
Tue, 25 Dec 2007 13:41:00 GMT
Merry Christmas! A present for all of us comes with this interview with Laurie Perry aka Crazy Aunt Purl, blogger and author of "Drunk, Divorced & Covered in Cat Hair (The True-Life Misadventures of a 30-Something Who Learned to Knit After He Split.)" Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #48 (7mb)
Sun, 16 Dec 2007 14:46:00 GMT
Crazy Love. Monkey Love. Big Love. The Lauries examine those wacky primates and polygamists in DD 48. Plus, female social networking, wrinkle remedies and a couple of tips o the pod. Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #47 (12mb)
Thu, 6 Dec 2007 20:26:00 GMT
Today on DD, Laurie1 interviews Katherine Doughtie and Jill Doughtie about their blog "The DHX." Sisters? Nope. Katherine is the mom. Jill is the stepmom. Somehow, they make it work. And they blog about it. Together.
Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #46 (7mb)
Thu, 29 Nov 2007 17:46:00 GMT
A post-pre-Thanksgiving podcast. No leftovers here. Laurie2 gets blamed for her girlfriend's breakup. Evidence that EVERYONE can listen and learn from our podcasts. And the Lauries ask: "Can you climb down a ladder lookin' sexy?" Tyra Banks probably can. But would she know what to do when a friend is having an affair? Click on the red button.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #45 (8mb)
Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:41:00 GMT
We may know why that woman is smiling. The Thanksgiving 2007 Special is here, replete with all the fixins for a podcasting feast. L1 has a shoe-shopping tip, L2 dishes Duran Duranās dainties, and together they deliver a delicious DivorcingDaze, just in time for the holiday. Click on the red button and let bake for 22 minutes.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #44 (6mb)
Thu, 8 Nov 2007 16:47:00 GMT
Halloween in New York City is pretty much just like any other day, except the stories are better. Witches bad and good, dumb-ass ladies and kids in the hood. The Lauries have a tricky tale or two, come on, get happy, you know what to do.
Write soon: chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- From a DivorcingDaze Listener
Wed, 31 Oct 2007 13:26:00 GMT
One of our listeners from Maryland submitted this video about a little girl named Savannah who needs all of your thoughts and prayers.
- DivorcingDaze #43 (4mb)
Tue, 30 Oct 2007 12:11:00 GMT
Does Al Gore listen to DivorcingDaze as he shovels kitchen scraps into the compost pile? Are pedestrians out to get Laurie1? Can we blame Rhoda Morganstern for everything? DivorcingDaze is stopped at the light, ready to make a left. Blow your horn at chat@divorcingdaze.com.
Photo: MTM Productions - DivorcingDaze #42 (5mb)
Tue, 16 Oct 2007 01:27:00 GMT
Theyāre like The Car Talk guys, only not. Laurie and Laurie discuss sunroofs, heated seats, the pleasures of vintage automobiles. And speaking of pleasure, Laurie 2 has a tip oā the pod for you in that category, but you have to listen to the whole show to hear it. Also tonight, funny graffiti, courtroom drama, a funny Mama. - DivorcingDaze #41 (6mb)
Wed, 10 Oct 2007 13:20:00 GMT
Hide the homework, hide the cookies...and for pete's sake hide the podcasts! - DivorcingDaze #40 (7mb)
Thu, 4 Oct 2007 17:07:00 GMT
We're still here. This one was recorded a couple of weeks ago, before, well, before the official end of Summer: why we love Canada, yes, we do sometimes walk the dog behind the police station and you know, you just can't talk to a crazy person. All this and more in the fortieth edition of DivorcingDaze, made fresh for you right here in New York City. - Peas of the Pod 9: All Dressed Up and No Place To Go
Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:51:00 GMT
Holiday Season. Although just as deserving of a column, this one will not be about my first alternate Xmas without my children. This is much more 'tis the season' than that.
Xmas present to self is to finalize divorce (which has been on the table for two years now). And get a pedicure. So four way meeting is set for five days before Xmas among X, X's brand new attorney, brought on moments before signing divorce agreement 'cause X "needed better representation," my attorney, who has made it clear I am the poorest and least important (not necessarily in that order) client and myself.
Monday morning's appointment is preceded by a week of boasting to all of my loved ones, and anyone else who will listen, to the trials (hope not) and tribulations of my divorce's picayune legalities and countless hypothetical non possibilities that might occur. "I'm walking out of that office divorced. Or I'm not walking outā." I gloat to all of my listeners.
Except I have to get dressed first. What does one wear for such an occasion? Aware that X has not seen me "dressed" in quite a while, I want to look good. "Good" meaning confident, sexy, powerful, hip, happy, better off, heart healed, moved on, loved by another, and even desirableāby him. (I admit.) The only thing perfectly suitable to satisfy stated definition is black. A nice complement to the white once worn to inaugurate the union. Ying Yang, I suppose. Black pants. Black top. Every black item I own is tried on, tossed aside and tried on a second time with stomach muscles squeezed tighter and head held higher. There ya' go.
Hair. Makeup. Scent. Confidently clasp necklace X bought for me during romantic Parisian getaway, intended to/wondering if it will evoke feeling of remorse. Or any feeling at all. Removal of dog and cat hair. He was not fond of the animals much (I should have known then). Final dabbing of lip gloss in the elevator's reflection in my attorney's office high-rise only afforded by tenants who charge their clients 400/hour. Riding up to the 34th floor allows just enough time to do breathing exercise aimed to raise level of serenity and lower possibility of potential tears at the scene.
Receptionist announces my arrival. Attorney's 225.00/hr assistant appears and says X and the better representative have cancelled. Mix up. Bad communication. Misunderstanding. Someone wise once told me people divorce the way they were married. Case in point. So here I am, all dressed up and no place to go. In a vain attempt to accomplish something I suggest a four-way phone meeting. All parties reject that idea. So the next available date to meet appears to be in the second week of January! I take my black outfit and defeated self right out the door.
I will be married come the new year. We will file taxes jointly for 2005. Oxford health plans will have a Mr. and Mrs. X in their records. I will celebrate Xmas married with children but alone. All that much more wrong. "I can't even divorce well," I gloom to myself.
The failure of our four way meeting today drives me to take drastic actionāI take matters into my own hands. Free of charge. I step into the discounted department store across the street from attorney's high rent skyscraper and in the midst of the store window's mannequins; I call X and insist we negotiate all outstanding differences on the phone. Right there and then. The makeshift office inspires me to remain as cool and emotionless as my stiff and steely witnesses. After all, I am as well dressed as they are.
By the end of my storefront negotiations I feel less defeated than the morning promised. What transpired in that discount department store, the week before Xmas, gave me everything I wanted and I gave everything I was willing to give.
Tomorrow I'm getting my pedicure. - DivorcingDaze #39: Feast of Love (3mb)
Fri, 28 Sep 2007 01:08:00 GMT
Laurie & Laurie talk about the new movie FEAST OF LOVE, directed by Robert Benton. When a nice coffee shop owner (Greg Kinnear) has his life thrown into turmoil after his wife (Selma Blair) leaves him for another woman (Alexa Davalos), his best friend (Morgan Freeman) does his best to encourage him to get back into the dating pool. It actually works, but when the single guy gets involved with a pretty blonde (Radha Mitchell), will he only get his heart broken all over again? Click just below to listen. - Peas of the Pod 8: The Anniversary
Tue, 18 Sep 2007 11:31:00 GMT
Today is my wedding anniversary. And technically, I am still married. As we approach the signing of our divorce agreement (isnāt that ā divorce agreement -- an oxymoron?) I am more than sure that this will be the last year that my wedding anniversary will pass that I will be, in fact, married...
Click Here to Continue - DivorcingDaze #38 (7mb)
Sun, 16 Sep 2007 15:42:00 GMT
Laurie and Laurie are back! - DivorcingDaze #37 (9mb)
Mon, 27 Aug 2007 03:46:00 GMT
Laurie invited "New Guy" to fill in for the vacationing Laurie2. So it follows that tonight's topics include their online dating experiences and observations on the state of divorce. Long marriages, dumb books, slumber parties and a shared tip o' the pod round out this late summer edition of DivorcingDaze. - Peas of the Pod 7: The Stranger Within
Tue, 14 Aug 2007 11:21:00 GMT
My five year old daughter woke this morning whimpering there was "a ghost in that closet". She pointed to my half-opened closet that once housed X's suits, shirts and ties. Instead of the expected maternal reassurance, I whispered back, "yes, sweetie, there is a ghost there." My own inside joke.
OK, I quickly came to and added, " I'll go get rid of it."
I swear, that is the farthest I go in intentionally "bad mouthing" X in front of my children. I'm actually quite proud of my upstanding behavior and attitude regarding him -- in the presence of his children. They have no idea of my truth. I am surprised, if not enlightened, by my evolved behavior. If given this hypothetical 5 years ago, I would have predicted tantrums, obnoxious outbursts, and sarcastic jibes all over the place.
And I am all too acutely aware that even though X has become a much stronger father figure in the girls' lives since he moved out two years ago, he has faded as a three dimensional person in my life. Sure, he prevails in my daydreams and nightmares ā as I still navigate through the terms of our impending divorce. And yes, I update him almost daily on the ear infection or new shoe size. And yes, he still lives six floors above me.
But who and what X is and does during his workday and/or free time is now a total unknown. He is a stranger. A ghost. I would never leave my children with a babysitter I knew so little about. But here, weekend after every other weekend, Wednesday night after Wednesday I hand my two jewels over to a complete stranger. In fact, I know nothing about the man I shared a bed with for five years. In his explanation of his infidelity he said that he had "contorted himself" to fit into our marriage ā that he was not being who he really is. Now, I'm not sure he knows who he really is as he continues to dabble with married women and such. But certainly, then, I know less than nothing about the father of my children. Who they spend weekends with! Does he know what to say when they wake in the middle of the night with a nightmare? Can he comfort a wounded feeling? the hurt knee? Can he convince them to eat their greens? Wash behind ears? Slather SPF 40 over their delicate skin? Put them to bed on time? Will he buckle their car seats securely? And soberly drive the speed limit when they are with him?
The answer to all of the above is that I don't know. But as I look back over the last two years of survival and revivalā.of redefinition and transformation, it has been the strangers in my world who have helped me survive. The gentleman who stopped on the Merritt Parkway to change my flat tire. The woman who carried one of my two crying children up the subway stairs. A neighbor who offered to take my dog for his nightly walks. All strangers in my world who literally saved the day. My day. My life, it seems.
And so, I believe in trusting the stranger in my midst. Including the one who lives six floors above.
Truth is, the most interesting stranger I've met in these days of divorce is myself. The part I had not known fully before. Full of emotions and desire, the entire range, I did not know I had nor could feel. Including forgiveness. - Cary Grant & Irene Dunne Divorce Scene From "The Awful Truth" 1937
Tue, 14 Aug 2007 01:58:00 GMT - Peas of the Pod 6: Self Image
Tue, 24 Jul 2007 01:32:00 GMT
Self image, such a fragile thing. Like a baby's demeanor, this image of self can darken or brighten in a matter of seconds.
Sometimes the smallest comments can carry the biggest ammo. You know those comments, the ones made in passing...innocentlyā. And at the time those 'comments in passing' are passed, you laugh them off with a shrug, a giggle, perhaps an eye roll. But then, sometimes, the comments, wellālinger. They grow. Take on new meaning. Haunt you. For hoursādays...weeks...even MONTHS!
Time of divorce, reasonably, can be a sensitive time. It is a time, in fact, when friends and family, should, well, lie to you. Little ones, white lies. To push you forward, instill hope and inflate the divorcing ego.
But not everyone you encounter will be that 'sensitive.' Innocent, yes, ego propping, perhaps not.
Not too long ago, my five year old, cuddling next to me in bed, early morning, gazing at me with awe and adoration, in a way, only a young child can offer, tenderly touched my face. It felt so good. Worth it all. And then she whispered, "Mommy, you grew another chin."
If life had sound effects, the slide whistle ending in a crash would be heard.
And then there was the time, not too long after the aforementioned epiphany, that the same five year old told this writer to cover her legs more, to prevent the babysitter's boyfriend, from seeing these 'fat legs.' For that would offend.
Offense taken.
A few weeks ago, I hauled my two girls, dog and self off to my parent's beach house for a little R and R. "Nana will take care of us," I declared. Within the first hour of arrival, "Nana" defiantly noted, "oh look, you have stretch marks. I didn't know you had those."
Some comments just can't be commented on back.
For my 41st birthday (ouch) my babysitter gave me a day at the spa. Luxury for the soul the certificate promised.
As I'm wrapped in warm towels, serenaded by Enya and the essence of lavender, my facialist (is that what they are called?) tells me what creams and oils she is applying to my skin. I'm at peace. But she continues. In her thick Russian accent, she declares what her obstacles are. For a bigger tip? She thinks aloud? She is cruel? I hear things like "broken capillaries," "dark circles", "blotchy red skin" "whiteheads," "blackheads." These dirty words of hers are followed with a "tsk, tsk, tsk". On my birthday, no less.
My grandmother taught me that every cloud has a silver lining. A motto I truly believe. I have to, afterall.
The manicurist at the spa delivers the birthday promise. I tell her this spa day is a gift from my babysitter. She says, also with a Russian accent that sounds more mellifluous than the former beautician's, "You have children? You're too young." "Oh, I'm older than I look" I assure her. And then to push my luck I ask, "How old do you think I am?" She studies me with a discerning eye and offers, "Twenty-six?"
And I'll let that comment in passing linger and soothe my soul for a long, long time. - DivorcingDaze #36 (6mb)
Thu, 5 Jul 2007 01:07:00 GMT
Laurie1 models her new bathing suit for X. Laurie2 considers her car for sex. Exploring doubts, red flags, Father's Day wishes and memories. Happy Independence Day to all of you! - DivorcingDaze #35 (9mb)
Sun, 17 Jun 2007 16:17:00 GMT
Today's edition of DD explores eight kinds of love, Target moving in on Vera Wang, the non-babysitting babysitter's hot outfit and the mystery of her whereabouts. Also, the New Guy's daughter cooks a gourmet feast, the phone rings a few times, and the Lauries laugh a lot, which is always good. - Peas of the Pod 5: The Soulmate
Tue, 5 Jun 2007 14:35:00 GMT
Here is another of the early columns in the series that led to the DivorcingDaze Podcast:
Enjoy!
THE SOULMATE
Ok, pinch me. OUCH.
So, last night (Saturday night) X took the girls for "his weekend" at 5:00pm. This morning, fourteen hours later, 7:00 am, the phone rings.
Me: "Hello?"
X: "Oh, did I wake you? I'm sorry."
Me: "That's ok."
X: "You sleep with the phone by your bed?"
My Sunday morning needs to begin with X questioning what appliances I keep near my bed? This could get interesting. But I'm a realist so I change the topic.
Me: "What's going on?"
X: "Well, I was wondering if you could come up and watch the girls for a bit so I can run to the supermarket."
Me: "ok."
X: "Really appreciate it."
For two years I manage to feed, clothe, clean, and raise the girls, work, and walk the dog three times a day without relying on him. Although come to think of it, there were two occasions when I asked X to help me out with the dog. The first time he said, "Stop testing me, Laurie." And the second time he said, "NO." But who is counting here? And obviously nobody is keeping score.
So, like the obedient wife, I drag myself out of bed, make a pot of coffee and head up to the 9th floor.
It does warm my heart to enter X's apartment because my two reasons for living greet me with their sleepy smiles and warm hugs.
X is dutifully apologetic and grateful, which of course, warms my heart as well. Note to self: discuss this point in next therapy appointment.
I tell myself this is really one of those win-win `situations.' I get to see my kidsā. I get a chance to be in X's apartment without himā.
So X returns from the supermarket and invites me to stay for breakfast. The girls cheer combined with the memory of his bacon (the one food item I will always burn) and his cinnamon French toast convince me to stay the morning.
During breakfast X complains about his migraines and sleepless night. (Ya' know, voodoo dolls really can work!)
He asks if I could watch the girls for a few hours so he can try to nap. No problem, I offer. I tell him I'll take the girls to a movie.
X shifts uncomfortably in his chair, looks away and says, "Well, we have a big day planned."
"What's planned?" I ask.
Unfortunately, X knows he can no longer dodge, for his five-year-old daughter sings like a canary. Forced to admit the truth he explains that he, the girls, the "soul mate boss" and her girls, are all going to see "The Incredibles."
It isn't until I return to the third floor I realize what has just happened. X has asked me to take the girls on my one day off in two weeks to watch them so he can nap so that he won't be too tired to go on a date with the woman he left me for. And not only that, but he puts in the request that I not see a movie when I'm with the kids cause that's what the Brady Bunch will be doing this afternoon! Who needs to see the movie "The Incredibles" -- I've got it all right here.
As we three leave his apartment he asks that I have the girls ready at noon.
The hours pass, X picks the girls up surprisingly on time. The girls leave with washed faces, pressed clothes and braided hair. Wouldn't want them to disappoint the boss.
Win ā win you ask? The entire morning screams Win ā LOSE! Or just LOSER! But as I crawl into bed to hibernate for the rest of the day, I recall my lack of judgment and immaturity. I'm the first to admit that 'you can take the kids away from mom but you can't take the kid out of mom." Those few minutes alone in X's apartment afforded me just enough alone time with the soul mate's toothbrush. And you know what? Forget chicken soup. Revenge soothes the soul just fine. - DivorcingDaze #34 (6mb)
Sat, 2 Jun 2007 13:59:00 GMT
Can a woman look HOT when pushing a stroller? When will Laurie meet the rest of The New Guy's family? Laurie 2 and Limbo Girl prepare to attend LG's high school reunion...how will it play in the Heartland? These and other questions are explored in the latest episode of DivorcingDaze.
- DivorcingDaze #33 (3mb)
Wed, 23 May 2007 03:54:00 GMT
Laurie & Laurie had a look at the Married In America 2 documentary. They watched it on a rainy day in New York City, put on a pot of coffee and then turned on the mic. Enjoy. - DivorcingDaze #32 (4mb)
Sat, 19 May 2007 15:18:00 GMT
Laurie interviews Michael Apted, renowned director of the documentary Married in America 2,and director of the acclaimed 7Up documentary series. Apted is also a prolific feature film director whose credits include Coal Miner's Daughter,Gorillas in the Mist,Nell,and the James Bond thriller, The World Is Not Enough. Amazing Grace, Apted's film about the life of William Wilberforce and the fight to end slavery, was in theaters earlier in 2007. - DivorcingDaze #31 (7mb)
Sat, 12 May 2007 11:41:00 GMT
Lust, laughter and lesbians are on the Lauries' lists tonight. They hobnob with Hillary, Rosie, Barbara & Martha. Confessions of X's cleaning lady, pet peeves and a shout-out to Port Moody. - DivorcingDaze #30 (45mb)
Mon, 23 Apr 2007 07:10:00 GMT
Did X cheat? Or was he just shopping around for a new model? Hear how X spins the story to the offspring. And speaking of off, we have the off-the-wall fatherly phone rant from Alec Baldwin to his 11-year-old, right here on DivorcingDaze #30. The topic is burning up the boards on our Yahoo! Group. And check out the biggest dog in the world. Grab a bag of chips and join us for this and more. - DivorcingDaze #29 (5mb)
Sat, 14 Apr 2007 17:15:00 GMT
DivorcingDaze 29 brings sound health advice, a quote from Churchill, a vacation not taken. The new guy moves and X gets cool. Talk about it in our Yahoo! group. - DivorcingDaze #28 (6mb)
Tue, 27 Mar 2007 06:04:00 GMT
Laurie & Laurie share a hairdresser, a gynecologist, and some ginger-honey iced tea. Pokey shares the family eye doctor, a famous tennis-playing transexual. And as usual, the Lauries share their secrets and fantasies. DivorcingDaze #28 is the best 24 minutes you've heard all week. Share it. - Peas of the Pod 3: The Divorce Lawyer
Mon, 12 Mar 2007 13:50:00 GMT
Here is one of the early DivorcingDaze columns that led to our podcast, this one about the high cost of divorce, paying for my divorce lawyer's vacation, and how I learned to be REALLY, REALLY cranky...
I donāt think you can write a divorce column and not have one piece focus on The Divorce Lawyer. Theyāre a breed unto their own. Iām gonna come clean: I donāt like mine.
She just called to ask me why Iāve been cranky recently? I swear. Those were her exact words. CRANKY! As if itās not bad enough that X resorts to name calling on occasion, but my lawyer? I now feel a special bond with my 4year old ā it IS frustrating when the person of power asks why you are cranky.
Isnāt it obvious why?
Ok. So she wants to know why Iām cranky? Take a deep breath. At 400 dollars an hour she needs that question answered? Iām going through a divorce, after all. Of course Iām cranky! Doesnāt she get it? The only person who seems to be getting anything they want in this divorce -- is my lawyer! My life savings have been drained down to less than what I had when I was the 15-year-old neighborhood babysitter! And my lawyer has it all. Did she really just ask me that question???
I wonder if she is going to bill me for posing, āWHY AM I CRANKY?ā? After all, she billed me 40 bucks when she went on her Aspen ski vacation because she chose to tell her firmās partner that āshould my clientās husbandās lawyer call while Iām away, tell her that Iāll be back in two weeks.ā? Really ā I was charged for that inner office conversation. For her vacation. But I guess it was all worth it because I got to see a picture of my lawyer slash ski bunny on the Aspen slopes at a later meeting. It looked like it was a lot of fun.
Then there was that 40 buck charge for the voicemail I left. I think I said, āmy husband is giving his lawyer his offer letter from his new job today and youāll be getting it shortly.ā?
I was also charged 900 bucks for a letter that never went out because ā we changed tactics.ā? I was charged 500 dollars for a memo I was not allowed to see. Apparently a law student poorly wrote a summary regarding a legal question I had about the charge of adultery. Only I was not allowed to see the memo because my lawyer didnāt like the quality of the writing. In fact, my attorney told me she was aghast at the low level of writing. That cost 40 bucks. So she gave me the option to either spend more money for a more experienced attorney to clean up the memo or spend 200 dollars for her to verbally summarize the poorly written document. I opted for curtain number two.
In the last three months, Iāve been charged about 5K for miscellaneous lawyerly things like postage, fax, poorly written memos, etc. etc. Yet nothing in my case has transpired. Not one proposal has actually been sent out to opposing counsel. Just one lonely letter sent out to say we were working on things, please be patient. 120 bucks.
No sense of closure on the horizon. No light at the end of my tunnel. Just more double digit charges for stamps, phone messages and emails. The black hole in process only leads me to invent more legal questions for my attorney -- and more charges. The lack of definition concerning visitation and financials bombards my cranky home. And then more questions. At an average of 250 a pop.
Iām actually a little surprised I havenāt been charged for all the tissues Iāve cried upon during the ātacticalā? meetings between blubbering client and attorney. Maybe thereās hope.
But if I find out that on my next invoice, Iāve been charged the minimum 40 bucks (or probably more, because this phone conversation might have squeaked past the six minute mark) for my attorney to call and ask the oh-so-obvious question of why I AM CRANKY...Iām gonna, well Iām gonnaā.stomp my foot, join my daughterās brigade and get ā.reallyā.REALLYā.. REALLY ā.CRANKY!
And then Iāll call my therapist for help -- only 150 bucks for 50 minutes. A New York City bargain.
- DivorcingDaze #27 (8mb)
Thu, 8 Mar 2007 03:06:00 GMT
Great news! DivorcingDaze 27 has a theme! And believe it or not it has nothing to do with sex. Join the Lauries for a cool multimedia experience. - DivorcingDaze #26 (7mb)
Fri, 23 Feb 2007 14:36:00 GMT
Tonight on the season premiere of DivorcingDaze: Lying, pain and pleasure. Kids and the new adults in their lives. Thoughts of Valentine's Day. And, yes Virginia, there is gay marriage. Click, then later, wash your hands.
- Peas of the Pod 2: Losing As Art
Wed, 14 Feb 2007 20:20:00 GMT
This is the second of the original columns which inspired the creation of our DivorcingDaze podcast. Happy Valentines Day!
A couple of months after my husband left, my mother emailed me a poem called āOne Art.ā? I think her motivation was to help ease my pain. My English teacher mother often offers her maternal comfort and advice through the works of famous, dead, white, male authors like Shakespeare and Chaucer. Well, this dayās message came from a dead white woman poet, Elizabeth Bishop.
I think Bishopās point in her poem āOne Artā? is that losing is a craft ā an art. She writes, āThe art of losing isnāt hard to master.ā? And she writes, āLoss is no disaster.ā? For Peteās sake, people lose things all the time, teaches Ms. Bishop: keys, an hour, a watch, a house, a city, a continent, a loved one. People lose all the time, so, you know, get over it. No more blubbering. Move on.
What I have found in this past year of total loss is that losing breeds more losing. And, quite frankly, it is a disaster, Ms. Bishop.
Letās seeā.upon discovery of Xās affair I spent the first two months losing lots of sleep. Lots. Iām still trying to catch up. In a matter of two weeks, I think I lost 12 pounds. I loss all body fat. Loss of sleep provides a perfect breeding ground for losing many more a material thing. One wallet, one watch, one set of car keys, one cell phone, one pair of diamond earrings and one diamond and sapphire wedding ring that I still wore on my middle finger. Thatās a lot to lose in 10 months. And like Madonna, I have discovered, I too, am a material girl. And it hurts. Lots.
I lost my husband, my marriage, frankly, life, as I knew it. I lost my in-laws, my sister in law, two nieces I adored. Half my books and cds, that really good griddle. My self-esteem, my dignity, my youthful look, an innocence. Every other weekend with my two precious daughters. Every other Thanksgiving, every other Christmas. My mind at times. My boggle partner, my best friend (scratch that one), my lover, my tennis partner, my story teller, my dish washer, my financial provider, my medical insurance, my security, my boxing partner. Pictures that hung on the wall. My coffee maker, who always woke before I did. A smell, a confidence, a vow.
I lost a stressful job because I couldnāt handle āALL THAT STRESS.ā? I lost my very helpful neighbors who moved to Florida. I even lost my divorce lawyer who became a judge. That one was really tough.
So Ms. Bishop, for me, losing, no matter how much you do it, IS hard to master. Iām still not used to it. And hereās a secret Iāll share: I hope I never get used to it. Because that would mean, I would really be left with nothing.
Losing doesnāt get easier the more you do it. It isnāt something that improves the soul. It most certainly darkens it. Writers and poets, dead and alive, hear me roarā.Losing is Disastrous.
But life can go on.
- DivorcingDaze #25 (8mb)
Sat, 10 Feb 2007 00:36:00 GMT
For DivorcingDaze 25, please gather friends, a bottle of wine or two, and your sense of humor. Staying in the marital home, where the bearclaw mittens roam, a telemarketer rings the phone. The Lauries are at their best this evening. Fasten your seatbelts and click on the button.
< - DivorcingDaze #24 (6mb)
Wed, 31 Jan 2007 13:38:00 GMT
In this edition of DivorcingDaze: Falling for the wrong one after divorce, cheating women, New Guy gets framed. Is that Oprah Winfrey at the door? Click to find out. - DivorcingDaze #23 (6mb)
Fri, 19 Jan 2007 04:26:00 GMT
Cops, cars and liars. Forget Jack Bauer, all of the interesting stuff is going on right here at DivorcingDaze 23. Also, listener mail.
< - DivorcingDaze #22 (6mb)
Thu, 11 Jan 2007 14:44:00 GMT
The first new podcast of 2007. On the agenda: underwear, dental care, good sex, tales of X. A surprise announcement from Laurie #1. Start the New Year off right. Listen to us, then write. - Peas of the Pod 1
Sun, 31 Dec 2006 18:43:00 GMT
DivorcingDaze actually started as written columns, before the birth of our podcasts. We got so excited with the new podcast technology that we nearly forgot all about them and they lived only on my hard drive. I'm posting them for you to read, not hear...this is where it all began...
DIVORCING DAZE: my column (1) 2003
This is the thing. Some days are bad. And some are just worse. I have a four year old, a two year old, a cat, a 200 lb dog and I live in New York City. And I'm getting a divorce.
Divorce is not a good thing even if half of all married couples do it. Nope, nothing good about it. But where would we be if we couldn't laugh at our own misery?
If you are a New Yorker, you're probably familiar with those not too rare occasions where you are scheduled to be in two places at the same time. Even before my husband left me for his soul mate of a boss it was hard to get out the door with two young children. And now as a single mother with an overburdened schedule and bruised heart I feel like doing three Hail Marys when the children and I successfully exit through the lobby doors of my apartment building. And I am Jewish. Well, this Wednesday morning in the dead, and I mean DEAD, of winter, was one of those swell times.
Applying to kindergarten in New York City deserves a weekly column all on its own, but to say the least, it is a time consuming, annoying and nearly preposterous process. Even if all you want (or can afford) is public school.
So this morning I had a tour scheduled at PS 87 on West 78th Street at 9:00am. Which is the same time I drop my four year old off at nursery school on 103rd St. Before any of this happens I need to walk the 200 lb dog and get the two year old to my babysitter who is babysitting for someone else today (I won't explain).
To make my life easier, or so I think, I enlist my soon-to-be X to help with my morning rush hour. Did I mention that the soon-to-be X (from heretofore will just be referred to as X) lives six floors above me in the SAME building? And yes, that truly defines a living nightmare.
Now they say if you don't learn from your mistakes, you are just stupid. So please just call me stupid. Running issue through marriage was X's LATENESS. I guess you could call me optimistic, but I'm not. I'm stupid. X due downstairs to pick 4-year-old up at 8:00 and take her to school. My well thought out plan should work fine. She's up, (not easy), dressed (hard), eaten half a banana (with pleading), hair brushed (really difficult) and shoes on. Lunch is made, newly washed sheets for naptime ready to go. Scarf, hat and mittens found and the phone rings. X will be 10 minutes late. Thirty minutes later he shows his well-rested face. No dark circles under his eyes. No cat hair nor dog slobber on his coat.
So now I have 30 minutes to walk the dog, drop off the two year old and get to the school tour that starts at 9:00 SHARP and no latecomers need apply. I make a quick executive decision and tell the dog he'll just have to hold it in. I throw the two year old in her stroller, put on my hot pink down parka bought soon after X left -- in one of those "he can't get me down" buying binges aimed to heighten the "I'll show him" attitude.
I jog through high piles of New York City slush to the babysitter's. I arrive at her building, flushed, out of breath but feeling positive about the possibility of making this school tour for kindergarten on time. Only the elevators of this high-rise building aren't working.
Power is quickly restored but I've lost six precious minutes that I did not have. Drop the kid off and try to hail a cab. And try. And try. Run to subway, miss the local by a breath and then wait. And wait. And wait.
ItĆ??s now 9:20 and IĆ??m running through the halls of PS 87 hoping to catch up with the touring moms and dads. When I sneak into the group, I think I feel judgmental stares. Perhaps it's the cat hair and dog saliva that decorate my hot pink down parka.
After the THREE hour tour of this elementary school I ask the principal for an application for an "out of zone" student so I can offer prolific descriptions of the academic promise of my four year old. The principal twists a wry smile and says, "Oh, you're too late for that. THAT was due in December. NO EXCEPTIONS."
I exit and trudge to the uptown subway. On the dank underground stairs, a well-dressed woman passes by and says, "Your coat's a great color." I'm actually, almost, moved to tears. Ailing, maybe, resilient, yep, hot pink? Absolutely.
So my hot pink down parka, even covered in cat hair and dog slobber, elicits a compliment. And for the first time this morning I smile. And stay smiling until I get home to see what the 200lb dog has done inside my apartment. - DivorcingDaze #21 (7mb)
Sat, 23 Dec 2006 16:22:00 GMT
Just in time, the DivorcingDaze Holiday Special! And the results of our holiday poll are in: Do you think it is a good idea to celebrate the holidays with X for the sake of the kids? 25% say "no way." - DivorcingDaze #20 (6mb)
Mon, 18 Dec 2006 22:31:00 GMT
The bills may be unpaid, the laundry undone, and holiday shopping incomplete, but DD 20 is here. The Lauries both have dreams of X that confuse and perplex. Gay marriage and the Brangelina bandwagon. Being a better person, and who gets to keep the traditions when you divorce? Also, check out the link under Divorce in the News on the right of this page for a new story "Divorce Does Not Spell Doom at Christmas." Now click away. - Children of Divorce
Tue, 12 Dec 2006 22:37:00 GMT
Divorce can wreak havoc on the lives of children, but University of Florida research shows it helps school-age girls when parents make a clean break, rather than continuing a troubled union. You may agree or disagree based on your own observations or experiences, but check out this clip while we prepare DivorcingDaze #20, and share your opinions in our Yahoo! DivorcingDaze Group. Just click the Yahoo! button at the top of the page. - DivorcingDaze # 19 (7mb)
Sun, 3 Dec 2006 18:52:00 GMT
The holidays approach. X has the kids, so what to do? Thanksgiving is a moveable feast. But moving the cat a few feet seems to be a problem with consequences. What would you do? This and more from Laurie and Laurie as they get into the season's spirit. Click away as you decorate. - DivorcingDaze #18 (4mb)
Thu, 23 Nov 2006 20:57:00 GMT
Nothing like listener mail and a bottle of wine to inspire a glassful of DivorcingDaze observations and discussion. Should you sleep with the X? Are you ever embarrassed about being divorced? What do you tell your kids when they start asking questions? DivorcingDaze #18 is at the gate, boarding and ready for takeoff. - DivorcingDaze #17 (7mb)
Thu, 2 Nov 2006 02:58:00 GMT
Coochie Goes Mad in DD17! The Soulmate returns, X's girlfriend comes out of the closet, and lunch with the gynecologist? Ford gets bold, we get sold. Get in here now, before it's all gone. - DivorcingDaze #16 (6mb)
Sun, 17 Sep 2006 18:15:00 GMT
In this long-delayed DD 16, Laurie and Laurie banish the word "failure" from the definition of divorce, fantasize and speculate about last words to former spouses, and manage to recall fond memories, in and out of marriage. - DivorcingDaze #15 (5mb)
Tue, 22 Aug 2006 01:49:00 GMT
The divorce continuum. Like life, divorce has its phases. Before, during and sometimes long after. Tonight, DD15 explores fear of separation, fear of staying together, sleeping alone, sleeping together, and e-mail from an angel. - DivorcingDaze #14 (5mb)
Sat, 12 Aug 2006 16:23:00 GMT
Words spoken and unspoken. What to say and whether to say it. When you meet the new guy's daughter by accident. When you find your X with someone else. When you run into the X's new squeeze in the elevator. Laurie and Laurie dance this verbal Hokey Pokey and ask for your thoughts. Also, fixing what's broken, hot times in the city, the pleasure of a smile. DivorcingDaze 14. Come and get it. - DivorcingDaze #13 (5mb)
Thu, 3 Aug 2006 13:44:00 GMT
Laurie celebrates a birthday with the girls and the new guy. When do you stop calling the new guy "the new guy?" A badly-timed "gift" from X and an unfortunate lockout. Bubba stars once again in a salty adventure. The beach, a bitch, and doglovers in Southampton. Laurie the Neighbor co-hosts again this week, and reveals her own divorce story, with a twist. Miss her "tip o' the pod" at your own risk. DivorcingDaze # 13 awaits. You know what to do next.
- DivorcingDaze # 12 (9mb)
Thu, 6 Jul 2006 20:32:00 GMT
It's Laurie and Laurie this week on DD 12, as Rebecca could not make this podcast. Laurie, the upstairs neighbor, you may remember, is Laurie's frequent 'partner in crime,' and a guest on a recent podcast. This chapter brings us some inconvenient truths: one unshaven leg, recurring nightmares, and an unexpected encounter with the X's latest girlfriend. Also a Sneak Preview of the sex toy store tour. Try saying that three times fast. And write to us, at chat@divorcingdaze.com. Oh, and check out A Mommy's World, run by our MySpace friend Kristen. - DivorcingDaze #11 (5mb)
Thu, 22 Jun 2006 04:22:00 GMT
Laurie and Rebecca test drive some new headgear and discuss pet peeves, wearing makeup to walk the dog, lost shoes at X's apartment and a squaredance where there are too many partners to swing. Does anyone out there know how to pronounce Deepak Chopra's name correctly? Send us your rants, give us some love, listen now to DD number 11 and tell your friends to do the same.
- DivorcingDaze #10 (8mb)
Wed, 7 Jun 2006 03:33:00 GMT
With the unofficial start of summer, DD10 is optimistic, forgiving and generous. An appreciation of what is good...Rebecca and Laurie even have some nice things to say about the Xs. But, still, they have stories you could not make up. X goes fishin' for chicken, in-laws turn outlaw, and boo-boos of the former spouses. So hit the red button and enjoy. - DivorcingDaze #9 (7mb)
Tue, 30 May 2006 22:04:00 GMT
Intelligent life has been found in DD #9. Rebecca on the pitfalls of assuming emotional intelligence, as she recounts a recent date, Laurie makes the intelligent choice and attends her college reunion, and a special guest joins the show to talk about intelligence of a very different kind. Other topics: Brunch with the X's soulmate, crazy things you do, good vibrations at Home Depot, and maintaining a sense of humor.
- DivorcingDaze #8 (6mb)
Fri, 26 May 2006 12:11:00 GMT
L and R share muffins and coffee in this alcohol-free edition of DD. Number eight finds the ladies recounting Mother's Day, migraines, fading memories of marriage. Divorce as a dirty word, and the insanity that sometimes follows. What's the craziest thing you have done after a breakup? We'll show you ours if you show us yours:
chat@divorcingdaze.com.
- DivorcingDaze #7 (5mb)
Thu, 18 May 2006 02:48:00 GMT
Rebecca and Laurie reconvene this week to a fine ten-dollar cabernet and the reports are positive. Could it be that Laurie works that voodoo that she do? Blocking the X's email address, Rebecca's artful encounter, taking back the power and Laurie's first fight with the new guy. Pull up a chair, put your feet up, DivorcingDaze # 7 is about to begin.
- DivorcingDaze #6 (5mb)
Thu, 11 May 2006 04:14:00 GMT
Will painting her door red bring Rebecca luck, or will Laurie's magic do the trick? Birthdays for the Xs, dreams and nightmares, old college boyfriends, and so much more. Question of the pod: Is it possible to hate someone else's X more than your own?
- DivorcingDaze #5 (5mb)
Mon, 8 May 2006 03:03:00 GMT
One more time, the lost podcast explained. Passover with the X. Two briskets, two visitors, two exposed breasts, two tips of the pod, and the five stages of grief. We didn't have 3 or 4 of anything. Also, talking to the kids about God.
- DivorcingDaze #4 (5mb)
Sun, 7 May 2006 16:50:00 GMT
Keep the trash empty and the refrigerator full. OK, it may not be that simple, but it is a good beginning. Laurie and Rebecca agree to disagree about Bubba's (Laurie's 200 lb. dog) 'vibe-patrol.' Also tonight, working to get the Xs off the radar, unwanted invitations and meeting yourself in someone else.
- DivorcingDaze #3 (4mb)
Sat, 6 May 2006 17:24:00 GMT Author: laurie@divorcingdaze.com
Life is better these days. Friendship, sex, dead Disney mothers, sex, the many degrees of separation, and the importance of a good dog are among the topics this evening. Pour yourself a glass of wine and join us for DivorcingDaze #3. - DivorcingDaze #2 (5mb)
Thu, 4 May 2006 14:16:00 GMT Author: laurie@divorcingdaze.com
Laurie and Rebecca share their adventures in divorce, mourn the loss of DivorcingDaze #1 and finish off a nice bottle of Pinot Noir in the process. - Peas of the Pod: The DivorcingDaze Columns
Tue, 12 Apr 2005 20:56:00 GMT
DivorcingDaze actually started as written columns, before the birth of our podcasts. We got so excited with the new podcast technology that we nearly forgot all about them and they lived only on my hard drive. I'm posting them for you to read, not hear. This is where it all began...
The Pink Parka
This is the thing. Some days are bad. And some are just worse. I have a four year old, a two year old, a cat, a 200 lb dog and I live in New York City. And I'm getting a divorce.
Divorce is not a good thing even if half of all married couples do it. Nope, nothing good about it. But where would we be if we couldn't laugh at our own misery?
If you are a New Yorker, you're probably familiar with those not too rare occasions where you are scheduled to be in two places at the same time. Even before my husband left me for his soul mate of a boss it was hard to get out the door with two young children. And now as a single mother with an overburdened schedule and bruised heart I feel like doing three Hail Marys when the children and I successfully exit through the lobby doors of my apartment building. And I am Jewish. Well, this Wednesday morning in the dead, and I mean DEAD, of winter, was one of those swell times.
Applying to kindergarten in New York City deserves a weekly column all on its own, but to say the least, it is a time consuming, annoying and nearly preposterous process. Even if all you want (or can afford) is public school.
So this morning I had a tour scheduled at PS 87 on West 78th Street at 9:00am. Which is the same time I drop my four year old off at nursery school on 103rd St. Before any of this happens I need to walk the 200 lb dog and get the two year old to my babysitter who is babysitting for someone else today (I won't explain).
To make my life easier, or so I think, I enlist my soon-to-be X to help with my morning rush hour. Did I mention that the soon-to-be X (from heretofore will just be referred to as X) lives six floors above me in the SAME building? And yes, that truly defines a living nightmare.
Now they say if you don't learn from your mistakes, you are just stupid. So please just call me stupid. Running issue through marriage was X's LATENESS. I guess you could call me optimistic, but I'm not. I'm stupid. X due downstairs to pick 4-year-old up at 8:00 and take her to school. My well thought out plan should work fine. She's up, (not easy), dressed (hard), eaten half a banana (with pleading), hair brushed (really difficult) and shoes on. Lunch is made, newly washed sheets for naptime ready to go. Scarf, hat and mittens found and the phone rings. X will be 10 minutes late. Thirty minutes later he shows his well-rested face. No dark circles under his eyes. No cat hair nor dog slobber on his coat.
So now I have 30 minutes to walk the dog, drop off the two year old and get to the school tour that starts at 9:00 SHARP and no latecomers need apply. I make a quick executive decision and tell the dog he'll just have to hold it in. I throw the two year old in her stroller, put on my hot pink down parka bought soon after X left -- in one of those "he can't get me down" buying binges aimed to heighten the "I'll show him" attitude.
I jog through high piles of New York City slush to the babysitter's. I arrive at her building, flushed, out of breath but feeling positive about the possibility of making this school tour for kindergarten on time. Only the elevators of this high-rise building aren't working.
Power is quickly restored but I've lost six precious minutes that I did not have. Drop the kid off and try to hail a cab. And try. And try. Run to subway, miss the local by a b