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Emotional Riot/Sex and Chocolate

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  • Parental rating: PG13 - Should be 13 or over
  • Links:
  • Hosts: ggirl and the man
  • Show contact:
  • Last update: Wed, 05 Nov 2008 23:52:00 -0600
  • Managing editor: not available
  • Language: en-US
  • Skype:
Review This Podcast
Anything goes reviews humor fun anc chocolate  The sex and chocolate show meets KBFR radio. Ggirl and others review sex toys and chocolate. Anything goes with great music, rants and reviews. Let us be your dirty little secret.

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Episodes

  • Play this podcast (80mb)
    emptyo
    Wed, 05 Nov 2008 23:52:00 -0600
    Introducing my new podcast partner!!

    The election, Halloween, Vegas and more..

    Enjoy!

  • Play this podcast (72mb)
    Ggirl and the Man - An impromptu show
    Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:30:00 -0500
    Ggirl and the Man do a show off the cuff



  • Play this podcast (90mb)
    Aggressive Music
    Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:16:00 -0500
    Interview with Gordon on Aggressive Music and his mad drumming skillz



  • Play this podcast (75mb)
    Hungry
    Sun, 27 Jul 2008 10:25:00 -0500
    Ggirl and Baachus/Bacchus get into scratch and sniff lotto cards. Ggirl discovers she can't do two things at once. Oops on the music there! heh

    Enjoy!

  • Play this podcast (75mb)
    Meet Baachus
    Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:58:00 -0500
    Ggirl is too drunk-oops! Meet Baachus/Bacchus !!

  • Play this podcast (69mb)
    Bitter chocolate and guildelines you've gone too far
    Sat, 14 Jun 2008 23:16:00 -0500
    99% cocoa pure dark chocolate and warnings that you just might have gone too far.

  • Play this podcast (81mb)
    Body Paint and Inmates
    Sat, 14 Jun 2008 21:37:00 -0500
    The Title says it all

  • Play this podcast (74mb)
    Disdainful ggril
    Sat, 31 May 2008 01:30:00 -0500
    She is good and pissed.

  • Play this podcast (65mb)
    Truth or Dare
    Tue, 27 May 2008 13:19:00 -0500
    Ggirl and the man try out a party game.

    Great music and not so great chocolate.

  • Play this podcast (59mb)
    Recovering and NoSex show
    Mon, 19 May 2008 14:42:00 -0500
    Ggirl talks a little about her recovering from a life threatening illness (no shit) and how THIS show is the NoSex show.  At least for now.

  • Play this podcast (82mb)
    Chocolate Tirade
    Sun, 20 Apr 2008 16:11:00 -0500
    ggirl goes off on the local chocolate maker... beware the wrath of ggirl.

  • Play this podcast (75mb)
    Chocolate Corn Chips
    Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:05:00 -0500
    Yes.. it's true... corn chips imbued with chocolate.. mmmm...

  • Play this podcast (46mb)
    Diane Interview 2- Over training
    Thu, 13 Mar 2008 21:10:00 -0500
    Diane Israel and ggirl discuss over training syndrome

  • Play this podcast (79mb)
    Zeppelin Baby
    Sat, 23 Feb 2008 22:10:00 -0600
    A look back at the music that helped give ggirl her incredible taste.

  • Play this podcast (45mb)
    Diane Interview
    Tue, 19 Feb 2008 13:11:00 -0600
    Interview with Diane Israel on her film, Beauty Mark.

  • Play this podcast (74mb)
    romping sat night
    Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:35:00 -0600
    Ggirl and the man romping round

  • Play this podcast (76mb)
    Shave your balls
    Sat, 02 Feb 2008 20:09:00 -0600

    Jubal, ggirl and the man get into a little bit of everything.



  • Play this podcast (71mb)
    Prozac
    Sat, 26 Jan 2008 20:54:00 -0600
    Ggirl and the man get deep

    Great music and all that

    a little too personal? Oops



  • Play this podcast (73mb)
    50 Cent
    Tue, 01 Jan 2008 18:54:00 -0600
    I have no idea what this show was about. But I got a bunch of CD's for 50 cents each!



  • Play this podcast (69mb)
    HAPPY 2008!!
    Tue, 01 Jan 2008 18:08:00 -0600
    Ggirl and the Man celebrate ggirl's broken heart, welcome the new year and discuss porn.

    Fucking amazing play list, I kid you not!

    Enjoy!

    x0x0

    Feedback and comments? Drop me a line at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    Yahoooooooooooo!



  • Play this podcast (58mb)
    BLAH (part 2)
    Sat, 24 Nov 2007 23:43:00 -0600
    Ggirl and the man

    Real time Wanachi!

    Missed some of the best parts after the show where ggirl and the man went head to head in a true DJ fight. Guess who won?? (As if there was ever a question! hehe)

    More fun

  • Play this podcast (62mb)
    The Echoy Show
    Sat, 24 Nov 2007 23:23:00 -0600

    Ggirl and the man get a call! A live show.

    Ritter chocolate

    Sex toy

    Fishnets

    Body-stockings

    Music

    And more!



  • Play this podcast (61mb)
    Bitchin and Moaning
    Sat, 10 Nov 2007 22:39:00 -0600
    General bitchin and moaning, and it's not even that time of the month.

  • Play this podcast (4mb)
    Too much space
    Sat, 29 Sep 2007 08:01:00 -0500
    Oops. As many of you may have noticed, the Sex and Chocolate Show is no longer weekly. Long story, but I'm still looking for a co-host in or around the Boulder area. Email me at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    In the meantime, enjoy this!

    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (68mb)
    yikes!
    Sun, 09 Sep 2007 05:11:00 -0500
    Ggirl and Bob do a show

    Umm...... OOPS! OK a few errors there. sigh

    chocolate, music, toys

    enjoy!


    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (75mb)
    SHIT!
    Sat, 25 Aug 2007 22:41:00 -0500

    Ggirl and the man discuss nut balls, anal sex and body parts.

    another broken heart causes ggirl to go off on a rant

    GREAT music

    The search for a new co-host continues

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    Beta band lyrics to dry the rain

    This is the definition of my life
    Lying in bed in the sunlight
    Choking on the vitamin tablet
    The doctor gave in the hope of saving me
    In the hope of saving me

    Walked in the corner of the room
    A junk yard fool with eyes of gloom
    I asked him time again
    Take me in and dry the rain
    Take me in and dry the rain
    Take me in and dry the rain
    Take me in and dry the rain the rain
    The rain the rain the rain now

    Dusty brown boots in the corner
    By the ironing board
    Spray on dust is the greatest thing
    Sure is the greatest thing
    Since the last since the last

    Walked in the corner of the room
    A junk yard fool with eyes of gloom
    I asked him time again
    Take me in and dry the rain
    Take me in and dry the rain
    Take me in and dry the rain
    Take me in and dry the rain the rain
    The rain the rain the rain now

    I asked him time again
    Take me in and dry the rain
    Take me in and dry the rain
    Take me in and dry the rain
    Take me in and dry the rain
    The rain the rain the rain now

    If there's something inside that you wanna say
    Say it out loud it'll be okay
    I will be your light
    I will be your light
    I will be your light
    I will be your light

    If there's something inside that you wanna say
    Say it out loud it'll be okay
    I will be your light
    I will be your light
    I will be your light
    I will be your light

    I Need Love, yeah
    I Need Love

    If there's something inside that you wanna say
    Say it out loud it'll be okay
    I will be your light
    I will be your light
    I will be your light
    I will be your light

    If there's something inside that you wanna say
    Say it out loud it'll be okay
    I will be your light
    I will be your light
    I will be your light
    I will be your light

    I Need Love
    I Need Love



  • Play this podcast (72mb)
    Angry Ggirl
    Sat, 18 Aug 2007 23:00:00 -0500

    Ggirl and the man do a live show.

    Spiders and snakes

    The man plays some greeat music..um  define "great"  hehe  ;)

    Kids in gangs and lord of the flies

    Movie reviews and more!

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    Muse lyrics
    I just found these (I'm into lyrics lately and might add lyrics from one somg in each show from now on..let me know what you think):

    She had something to confess to,
    But you don?t have the time so,
    Look the other way.
    You will wait until it's over,
    To reveal what you?d never shown her,
    Too little much too late.

    Too long trying to resist it,
    You?ve just gone and missed it,
    It's escaped your world.

    Can you see that I am needing,
    Begging for so much more,
    Than you could ever give.
    And I don?t want you to adore me,
    Don?t want you to ignore me,
    When it pleases you, yeah.
    And I?ll do it on my own.

    I have played in every toilet,
    But you still want to spoil it,
    To prove I?ve made a big mistake.

    Too long trying to resist it,
    You?ve just gone and missed it,
    It's escaped your world.

    Can you see that I am needing,
    Begging for so much more,
    Than you could ever give,
    And I don?t want you to adore me,
    Don?t want you to ignore me,
    When it pleases you
    yeah...



  • Play this podcast (25mb)
    Ggirl Goes it Alone...Again
    Thu, 09 Aug 2007 19:23:00 -0500
    Ggirl does another solo show-oh no.

    Auditions for a new co-host. Email me at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    Great music, of course

    Stupid dream, Dumb people and dull stories

    This show sucks but listen to the music!

    x0x0


    Talk is Cheap
    Free Speech is not


  • Play this podcast (2mb)
    Long Story
    Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:32:00 -0500

    Hang tight everyone. The sex and chocolate show is dead, but I'll be back at some point to do some music shows. Who knows, maybe a new version of the sex and chocolate show will emerge.

    Looking for a co-host in Boulder. Interested? Email me (ggirl) at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com


    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (37mb)
    Yes We Can
    Sun, 15 Jul 2007 10:14:00 -0500
    St Martin Pinot Noir and some great french chocolate from the Boulder Bookstore.

    Lyrics

    Wild stories

    Constant erection = get out of jail free!

    Dogs die in hot cars, d'oh

    Bye bye bitchy lady

    Cereal-yum

    Great music and more!

    x0x0

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

  • Play this podcast (33mb)
    I Like It
    Sun, 08 Jul 2007 10:09:00 -0500
    Ggirl and Bob are back after a week off

    Happy belated 4th everyone

    Good chocolate with nuts and an intriguing Bordeaux

    I like it like that

    Don't let the man get you down

    KRFC Rocks

    Jak and Lola are back!

    Leave the protective gear at home

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

  • Play this podcast (72mb)
    It's the Law
    Sun, 24 Jun 2007 05:45:00 -0500
    Ggirl and Bob share more odd but true laws

    Rose wine makes a great summer drink

    Awesome chocolate

    Parrot spills the beans-oops!

    Great music and more

    sexandchocolateshoe@yahoo.com

    Enjoy!

  • Play this podcast (34mb)
    Interview with Alan O'Hashi for City Council
    Thu, 21 Jun 2007 21:38:00 -0500

    Alan O'Hashi makes a bid for open City Council seat in Boulder, Colorado.

    www.Alanohashi.com

    Vote!


    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (61mb)
    Grrrlz and Boyz
    Sun, 17 Jun 2007 01:37:00 -0500
    Ggirl and Bob discuss pinot grigio, equal exchange chocolate and puro Rock

    Call in the german police

    Choclit

    Londoners and their love for chocolate

    Oh My!

    Live baby rats and frogs-yummy!

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    From winewebcentral.com :

    Pinot Grigio is the Italian name for a French grape called Pinot Gris from the French word for "gray" (gris). Widely planted in the north of Italy, especially in the Friuli region in the northeast, this grape yields crisp, fruity dry white wine. The light, crisp wine from this grape tastes like almond, nuts, rose petals, orange rind and pine.

    Although Pinot Grigio is a white wine, it is made from a red grape. Also known as Pinot Gris, it is known as the grape that can't decide what it is. The skins can range from greyish blue to brownish pink; sometimes they look black, sometimes white.

    The styles of wine from these grapes also varies widely - from a rounded, fuller wine, to a lighter wine. The common factor is the delicate aroma, commonly with a hint of honey.



  • Play this podcast (18mb)
    FASCINATIONS
    Thu, 14 Jun 2007 20:39:00 -0500

    Ggirl interviews store manager, Andrew, at Fascinations in Boulder, Colorado.



  • Play this podcast (77mb)
    Out of Control
    Sun, 10 Jun 2007 02:32:00 -0500
    Ggirl and Bob Discuss exploding ants, smoking pot and Paris Hilton.

    Chocolate, wine and great music!

    Enjoy!

    x0x0

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

  • Play this podcast (46mb)
    Music List
    Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:25:00 -0500
    Just a little music set featuring some cool music, of course!

  • Play this podcast (77mb)
    Dr Rob
    Sun, 03 Jun 2007 01:00:00 -0500
    Bondage tape, Organic everything, and we are off on some fucking tangents!

    Bob missed out

    Tinto Figaro 2005 organic red wine

    Rapunzel Organic swiss chocolate

    Great music and more!

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

  • Play this podcast (64mb)
    The Best of Everything
    Sun, 27 May 2007 02:18:00 -0500
    Ggirl and Bob sample the good life.

    Truffle Pig Chocolates and Great Wine!
    (note-people, this chocolate is amazing! It's sweet, but so so smooth-like great european chocolate. THIS is worth a try. trust me, it's a must have!! The wine as well-excellent value)

    More fun at the Zoo

    15 years without sex

    The Bachelor

    Keef Kat gets a guy sued

    Spontaneous sex changes

    AND MORE!

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (37mb)
    Music Mix
    Mon, 21 May 2007 16:34:00 -0500
    Music from:

    Stephen Marley, Fiest, Spacehog, Poe, Joss Stone, Temple of the Dog, Hellogoodbye, Charlatans, Transplants and MSI



    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (78mb)
    Sex Laws- are we getting a little personal?
    Fri, 18 May 2007 02:09:00 -0500

    Ggirl and Bob drink some great french wine, sample some good chocolate and get a little personal.

    Shout outs

    Top soundtracks

    Drowning in fish poop, weird but true sex laws and throwing up criminals.

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (73mb)
    9 tails and no man
    Sun, 13 May 2007 00:14:00 -0500
    Ggirl and Bob explore rubber whips, chocolate body paint and black sesame seeds covered in chocolate

    Altos de la hoya  wine 2005  from Spain- sharp but elegant

    Donkeys and latex and elephant poop


    A really really happy meal

    Top 5 albums (radiohead not included because of an unfair advantage)

    Shout outs and more!

    SEXANDCHOCOLATESHOW@YAHOO.COM

    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (5mb)
    Test
    Wed, 09 May 2007 08:16:00 -0500
    Shit- was totally having trouble getting anything posted here. Don't really like the new look at all. oh well. Major bummer. Really sucks for us.

    Here's a song.

  • Play this podcast (25mb)
    Strange Days Mix
    Tue, 08 May 2007 00:35:00 -0500
    A very strange little mix featuring The Dresden Dolls, T Spoon, MSI, Nirvana, Sufjan Stavens and Towers of London

  • Play this podcast (68mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- Strip Bob
    Sun, 06 May 2007 00:12:00 -0500
    The white trash episode

    ggirl and Bob play strip poker

    Covey Run Riesling- Fucking awesome wine for an awesome price!

    Chocolate covered banana chips and Jo's yummy goodies -a great deal! mmmm

    Ggirl and Bob play strip poker

    A man in a bag

    Great music and more!

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com">sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (6mb)
    Float On
    Tue, 01 May 2007 08:35:22 -0500
    Here's one I never seem to get tired of from Modest Mouse.


    Yes- let's NOT talk about the big fucking purple elephant screwing in the fucking living room.

    Typical-

    x0x0

  • The times are not changing so much
    Mon, 30 Apr 2007 10:03:00 -0500
    Big business has been screwing the little guy for years and years, so as I see it times are really no different. I'm having a hard time believing that there are only 5 or 6 podcasters who are upset over this Clickcaster decision that was sprung on all of us without any consideration or loyalty or thought to any of us and how it would affect us, and one podcaster who seems ok with it. Am I missing something? Where is everyone else on this? Do they even get it? We want to hear.

    The thing is is that we really are screwed, because not only is it going to cost us, for limited space I might add- I'm sorry but the basic plan is not going to work for this show now that we are getting requests to record and review for others in the local area-but it's also nothing to Clickcaster that we are upset or mad, and it means nothing to them if we leave. See the problem is that they couldn't care less about podcasters like us, because if we stay or go, it doesn't affect them. An extra 5-20.00/month more or less in their greedy little pockets is no big deal, really. They are, I'm sure, going to be focused on other big business. However, an extra 5-20.00/month OUT of MY pocket IS a HUGE deal. A very big deal when there's already the cost of the show and you're struggling to make it paycheck to paycheck.

    I still say that this is a really shitty way to do business. I used to love Clickcaster and what they were about. now they seem just like all the rest-even worse though, because they came out like they were this cool site offering hosting for free and all this bs and different from all the other shitty businesses out there. Maybe a move isn't a bad idea, but we are torn with the fact that we have a following here and have just committed to other people to possibly record local events. We're screwed either way now really, and It sucks. We still don't know what to do. I think if we do go, we will follow in Damon and Klitt's shoes.

    Another temper tantrum by ggirl thank you very much.

    x0x0




  • Play this podcast (75mb)
    Click This
    Sat, 28 Apr 2007 23:13:00 -0500
    Oh where to begin?

    Broquel Malbec 2004 So incredible my goodness this is great wine!

    Cafarelle Chocolate - fuck me now chocolate for sure- DAMN!

    Clickcaster decides to charge everyone without cash to survive-makes total sense.

    Owl attack

    Ggirl and Bob must now charge for their next episode. Don't worry it will be worth it! A dollar PLEASE??!!

    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (31mb)
    Action Figure 8 take two!
    Mon, 23 Apr 2007 20:57:00 -0500
    Ggirl, Dr Bob and Will talk about Action Figure 8's CD release party Tues April 24th at the Fox on the hill in Boulder. For FREE ticets go to www.myspace.com/actionfigure8  (that's 8 the letter)

    The line up includes:

    Mannequin Makeout
    Team Awesome
    and
    Action Figure 8

    Doors open at 8:30pm

    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (50mb)
    Action Figure 8 Plug!
    Sun, 22 Apr 2007 19:25:00 -0500
    Ggirl trips her way through a rushed solo show

    Check out the Fox this Tues April 24th Doors at 8:30pm for Action Figure 8's CD release party!! Mannequin Makeout, Team Aewsome and Action Figure 8 take the stage with DJ Matthew Skeletor spinning tunes. Get Free tickets at www.myspace.com/actionfigure8


    7 and Rabid Red

    Ecco Bella chocolate- not so good

    Fucking sweet playlist! No kidding!!

    Where in the world is Dr Bob when you need him??

    Sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com">Sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com


    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (41mb)
    Flood mix and my 2 cents
    Wed, 18 Apr 2007 12:20:00 -0500
    Here are a few songs, some I have played before and some not.

    The list:

    Fountains of wayne- can't get it out of my head
    The Dears- Heartless romantic
    The Walkmen- We've been had
    Jr Boys- Birthday
    Cat power- He war
    22 20's- such a fool
    Dot Allison- Colour me
    Brightblack morning light- Black feather wishes rise
    Elliott Smith- Happiness
    Electric president- Insomnia



    I don't know how anyone else feels about Clickcaster charging in a few months, but I'm not too happy about it, not so much that we will have to shell out money or anything but more the way it was done. When I started up on clickcaster and when the business where I work joined as well, we were partly persuaded because of the FREE part that was, at the time, stressed- "post your podcast for free" etc... not post you podcast for free for now type thing. Bob and I are still trying to figure out what we will do (as if anyone really cares) but neither of us is happy about it.  Well, as long as the rich get richer-right? Whatever. Just my 2 cents. I'm sure everyone else is thrilled to pay for it and Bob and I will have to either quit or suck it up and try to scrounge for some extra cash.



  • Play this podcast (79mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- The DR is IN
    Fri, 13 Apr 2007 00:23:00 -0500
    Everyone meet DOCTOR BOB!

    Grauzan 2006 Rose Syrah from France

    MILKA chocolate-try the dark milk chocolate-yummy!!


    The dangers of vibrators

    Animals in dark places

    Great music

    Man biting fish

    Comments please!

    x0x0

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

  • Play this podcast (23mb)
    Short little mix
    Tue, 10 Apr 2007 11:42:00 -0500
    Just a few songs here from TV on the Radio, Modest Mouse, Elliott Smith, Human League and Zero Seven


    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (72mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- Depressed ggirl
    Sun, 08 Apr 2007 13:40:00 -0500

    Ggirl is depressed and gives out Bad advice.
     
    Bob holds the show together

    Menage A Trois wine

    Seattle Chocolates- yum!


    Don't fuck the dog if it's battery operated

    Gross candy

    Great music!!

    We forgot the sex toy, but join us next week

    x0x0

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com


  • Play this podcast (29mb)
    Ggirl mix-solo all music show
    Mon, 02 Apr 2007 10:57:00 -0500
    An interesting and strange little mix with some really cool, sweet, funky, sad, beautiful music

    Enjoy!!

    THE LIST:

    The Bravery-An Honest Mistake
    monster island clip
    The Czars - Black and Blue
    Beck - Beautiful way
    Blondie - Heart of Glass
    The Who - Batman
    Clinic - If You Could Read Your Mind
    Paul Oakenfold - Stary Eyed Surprise
    Air - Mayfair
    Foo Fighters - Walking after you
    OMC - How Bizarre
    Elvis Presley - A Little Less Conversation
    Susan Tedeschi - You Need to Be With Me
    The Czars - I'm Sorry
    The Kooks - I Want You Back

    Like it? Hate it? email me at
    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com
    or leave a comment!

    x0x0

    Dedicated to all the other poor saps who are suffering from a broken heart...sucks, don't it? Thank God, gods, goddesses and/or the talented rock stars for music to ease the pain!

  • Play this podcast (67mb)
    Sex and chocolate show- we want a sammich!
    Fri, 30 Mar 2007 06:00:00 -0500
    La Posta 2005 Malbec- let this one breathe for sure

    Seeds of Change Organic Chocolate www.seedsofchange.com


    Family fun, teaching your kid a new trick

    What she served for dinner


    Bob and Ggirl..bring it on


    What do you like? Email us at
    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com



    The sound is awful on this one uggh- still trying to figure it all out folks! bear with us...


  • Play this podcast (69mb)
    The Sex and Chocolate Show- No more butt plug
    Sat, 24 Mar 2007 23:24:00 -0500
     Ggirl and Bob discuss a scratch and sniff episode.

    Ggirl is brave and gives the butt plug a go...and decides it's not for her um...yeah

    Great music (of course)

    Geyser Peak 2004 Shiraz Port suggested my Ann at Pettyjohns www.pettyjohns.com

    Awesome awesome chocolate from Lake Champlain www.lakechamplainchocolates.com YUM!

    Email us at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com">sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com 

    Free 20 percent off card at fascinations www.fascinations.net to the first 3 people who email us!!!

    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (57mb)
    Ggirl's solo music show
    Tue, 20 Mar 2007 07:35:00 -0500
    Ggirl goes it alone

    Enjoy!

    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (83mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- Auditions
    Sun, 18 Mar 2007 00:26:00 -0500
    Ggirl and Bob have some great wine, sample chocolate and discuss butt plugs.

    Great music

    Dolfin Chocolate


    Chocolate body butter

    email us at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    We are holding auditions for anyone who wants to demonstrate a butt plug for us

    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (32mb)
    Ggirl's Odd Mix
    Thu, 15 Mar 2007 17:45:00 -0500
    Music and comedy from :

    Abba,
    Wolf parade,
    Cold war kids,
    Matt Pond PA,
    Dane Cook,
    TV on the Radio,
    De la Soul,
    Fratellis,
    Powderfinger, and
    Clap your hands say yeah

    Shout out to Lola and Jak

    Keep checking back for new Sex and Chocolate episodes

    x0x0

    sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com



  • Play this podcast (58mb)
    Sex and Chocolate Show- Next week butt plugs
    Tue, 13 Mar 2007 11:42:00 -0500
    Ggirl and Bob do a show.

    Great music

    Clone a willie kit FREE email us at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com no strings!

    Terra Nostra chocolate- mmmmmm



    x0x0


    Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn. Lying is done with words and also with silence. Silence is the virtue of fools. No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. We will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say.

  • Play this podcast (4mb)
    Mid week song
    Wed, 07 Mar 2007 09:24:00 -0600
    This is an old one but I think everyone will like it. Plus it says quite a bit about the way things are. I saw Depeche Mode live once and the show was really good. Not my all time favorite which would have to go to either the clash at red rocks or the beasty boys, but definitely one that stood out as far as good concerts go.

    I love their early stuff-really early stuff.

    Everything Counts -a great song by a great band!!
    Enjoy

    x0x0

  • Play this podcast (6mb)
    Lemon Jelly- Nice Weather for Ducks
    Tue, 23 Jan 2007 08:04:00 -0600
    Lemon Jelly rocks! I dare you not to tap your toes to this one. The more you listen the better it gets! 

  • Play this podcast (69mb)
    The Sex and Chocolate Show- The Glove
    Sat, 20 Jan 2007 22:00:00 -0600
    Vibrating glove from Fascinations! www.fascinations.net

    Closet bands

    Listen to our show-we do not kill listeners

    Free book to the first person who emails us at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

    2 great great covers

    More awesome music

    Sensory experiment and some fucking fucking SWEET totally awesome fantastic chocolate: Denman Island Chocolate

    YUM!!!



  • Play this podcast (5mb)
    The Cold War Kids- hang me up to dry
    Mon, 15 Jan 2007 17:15:00 -0600
    The Cold War Kids- hang me up to dry

  • Play this podcast (73mb)
    The Sex and Chocolate Show- Drunk ggirl
    Sun, 14 Jan 2007 10:31:00 -0600
    Wine and ggirl  


    Freezing temperatures and doggie booties

    Myspace music from Carlo Saltine Pizzo and the listening group

    Weirdness in Africa

    Make your own sex game!

    email us at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com


    mmmmmmm chocolate!

  • Play this podcast (75mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- Like no clothes
    Sun, 07 Jan 2007 01:41:00 -0600
    Eco sex, good for you AND the environment

    New Clinic!

    Penis size in England and Paris blow up doll

    Oily escape

    Another attempt at not saying LIKE by ggirl, uggghhhh!

    email us at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com




  • Play this podcast (66mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- New Location
    Sun, 31 Dec 2006 00:07:32 -0600
    Ggirl and the man try out a new location. The Cold War Kids!! New Tree Chocolate and Ghirardelli Chocolate Reciprocity and blow job etiquette Wild Sex at Columbia Chocolate Gummy Bears and so much more!!! Happy New Year everyone!! x0x0

  • Play this podcast (65mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- We're back!
    Sun, 24 Dec 2006 00:46:00 -0600
    That's right- we are BACK!

    Ggirl theories

    Great music- oh yeah, I know you missed it!!

    Panties vs underwear


    The holidaze and the snow

    kids in cages and more!

    x0x0

    Lola and Jak- we love you..let us know when you're free!!!


  • 4 Sale
    Mon, 04 Dec 2006 11:51:00 -0600
    Anyone need a mixer? I'm selling a hardly used Alesis USB podcasting kit.
    The mixer is in excellent condition. I'm selling because it doesn't work with my computer.

    Comes with: MultiMix 8-channel Mixer (Windows/Mac compatible), Micraphone with desktop stand and headphones, Carry case and software

    $190.00 OBO local pickup
    $225.00 = Ship anywhere in the US

    Paypal accepted Money order, cash or local check also accepted.

    email sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com if you're interested.

    x0x0

  • Last show
    Sun, 03 Dec 2006 20:26:00 -0600
    Well, I guess the last show was the last show. Makes sense now doesn't it? Anyway- it was nice. Thanks for listening and hope you enjoyed the show while it was happening.

    x0x0

    ggirl



  • Play this podcast (67mb)
    Fuck
    Sat, 02 Dec 2006 22:22:00 -0600
    After a fight ggirl and the man try unsuccessfully to do the show. Of course ggirl fucks it up by continually tripping over her tongue, which fortunately isn?t split, and the show never quite comes together. OH well. Good thing there?s another great podcast here on Clickcaster featuring Jak and Kali!!


    Oh..I guess my music didn?t suck, so that counts for something, eh?

     

    Fuck

     

    X0x0



  • Play this podcast (71mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- Big Tits
    Sat, 25 Nov 2006 23:14:00 -0600


    Damn these fucking huge tits of mine!

    Pms strikes again only worse.

    Don't fuck the dead deer.

    So so so hot music!! Really, you MUST listen and tell all your friends.

    I forgot what else but it's great just trust me on this people!

    x0x0




  • Play this podcast (90mb)
    T-Day Covers
    Thu, 23 Nov 2006 20:54:00 -0600
    T-Day Cover Show.

    Enjoy!

    x0x0


    Sex and Chocolate Shows to come...

    uh oh looks like there was a bit of trouble with the recording there. Oops.

  • Play this podcast (71mb)
    Anal shit
    Sat, 18 Nov 2006 22:01:00 -0600

     

    Anal tinting.

     

    Great music

     

    More great music

     

    Did I mention that I have some great music??

     

    Jane Jensen

     

    Fedora chocolate

     

    Brutal flatworms and cum that burns

     

    sex toy review: Lovers thong 

     

    x0x0 

     

    email us at  sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com  oh right nobody pays any attention to this whole fucking show, so why bother! 



  • Play this podcast (45mb)
    Sex and chocolate minus the sex
    Sun, 12 Nov 2006 00:21:00 -0600

    Ggirl proves that her solo shows suck ass. However, thank whatever diety you want that she has great taste in music and that this playlist as as good as they come!

     

    x0x0

     



  • Play this podcast (4mb)
    PLug for Kali and Jak!!
    Mon, 06 Nov 2006 19:34:00 -0600

    Kali and Jak kick ASS!!! Yes they do. They really really do uh huh lalala

     

    ok Jak's sex and chocolate  song is way better so CHECK them out at

     

    www.clickcaster.com/msfg

     

    x0x0 



  • Play this podcast (82mb)
    Sex and Chocolate Show- WU HU!!
    Mon, 06 Nov 2006 19:17:00 -0600

     

     

    God love those Mormons..'cause nobody else will! hehe

     

    No- we LOVE the Mormons!

     

    Wu Hu and other strange sex laws

     

    Styx heh

     

    The man ate all my chocolate so no review. grrrr

     

    Sex toy review to come I PROMISE!!

     

    Download the anything goes Video and get a free prize

     

    x0x0 

     

     

                



  • Play this podcast (69mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- Tiny M&Ms
    Sat, 04 Nov 2006 13:46:00 -0600

     

     

    Tiny M & M's and toys!

     

    Oh what fun...

     

     

    Another lost episode thanks to the Man

    Dagoba Chocolate YUM!



  • Play this podcast (108mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- Cover show with BOB
    Thu, 02 Nov 2006 19:52:00 -0600

     

     

    Ggirl and Bob do their first Covers show! Awww- Mr mini mic intro had to be cut due to technical difficulties. Bummer.

     

    Enjoy the show!

     

    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (139mb)
    KBFR-When the cover is better
    Tue, 31 Oct 2006 20:48:00 -0600

    KBFR 2004 Ggirl rocks the van with an all covers show

    Even with all covers the playlist fucking kicks ASS!!

     

    Check it

     

    Check it!

     

    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (53mb)
    Music Chaser Show- Rock on Ggirl!
    Mon, 23 Oct 2006 14:19:00 -0500

     

     

    Ggirl goes it alone. Damn! what a fucking brilliant playlist!! I ask you all, have you ever heard anything quite so sweet??

     

    ;)

     

    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (174mb)
    KBFR-More fun with Green Kid and Buck Naked from 2004
    Sun, 22 Oct 2006 21:09:00 -0500

                                                       

     

     

     

     

    Another fun show with Green Kid and Buck Naked recorded in the KBFR van in 2004.

     

    Favorite bands and worst bands. Advice to caller on how to approach the subject of going down (did we go to far?). Is it a must to reciprocate?  great music, of course...

     

     



  • Play this podcast (59mb)
    The sex and chocolate show- Meet Bob
    Fri, 20 Oct 2006 23:53:00 -0500

     

     

     

    Hey everyone- this is Bob

     

    x0x0

     

    ggirl

     

    tried to uplod this long ago...



  • Play this podcast (73mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- The special guest show!
    Fri, 20 Oct 2006 21:56:00 -0500

     

     

     

    ggirl lets the man be in charge for the first (and last) time.

     

    Hershey's chocolate

     

    Cy joins the fun. And PanthAr too! (how coo is that) Anyone up for strip poker?? hummm ggirl's having fun now!

     

    x0x0 

    I'm so hip I sa coo ya

     



  • What is up?
    Wed, 18 Oct 2006 18:05:00 -0500

     

    Geeze mr. Man- when are you going to post that anything goes show?? Give us a little something for fuck's sake!!

     

    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (63mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- Mid Week Chaser Found!
    Sun, 15 Oct 2006 02:11:00 -0500

            

     

     

    Ohh.. another lost episode found!



  • Play this podcast (83mb)
    Ggirl and the Man- Shake Your Ass
    Sun, 15 Oct 2006 00:01:00 -0500
    Lost episode recovered!!! Lily O'briens chocolate.


  • Play this podcast (74mb)
    Sex and chocolate- No like oww my ass hurts show
    Sat, 14 Oct 2006 21:54:00 -0500

     

     

    Ggirl loses the ability to think. (not enough food) and the man pisses her off. grrr

     

    in an attempt to avoid saying "like" ggirl suggests slaps for every Like uttered. (Now my ass hurts.)

     

    Christians get kinky, and we suggest that you don't fuck chickens. 

     

    More great music and some Dove chocolate too.

     

    email us at sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

     

     

     

                



  • What??
    Tue, 10 Oct 2006 15:43:00 -0500
    Well fuck. We're actually going backwards in the ratings!  How can that be??   :(
    I guess great music, fun banter, sex and chocolate isn't working, so if there's anyone who can give us a clue as to what might help us go UP in the ranks here, please let us know.
    x0x0
    Ggirl
    To the man: See I told you not to put that image up- now you've scared everyone away!

     



  • Play this podcast (72mb)
    Sex and Chocolate- HUGE breasts
    Sat, 07 Oct 2006 23:18:00 -0500

     

     

    Ggirl suffers from huge breast syndrome this week.

     

    Republicans blame the Democrats for their lack of self control.

     

    Enjoy the end there folks!

     

    heh.

     

    Yes-the anything goes show is sill coming. keep checking back! 

     

    Check out new episodes including: "No like-owww my ass hurts", "Anything goes audio teaser" and "the lost episodes"!! 



  • Um.....
    Thu, 05 Oct 2006 13:55:00 -0500

     

     

     

     

     

    Still waiting.......



  • ...
    Tue, 03 Oct 2006 13:01:00 -0500

    Come on Man- post something!

     

    x0x0

    ggirl

     



  • REMINDER
    Fri, 29 Sep 2006 22:03:00 -0500

     **** Part Two of THE ANYTHING GOES SHOW is coming, so keep checking back ! ****

     

    If you were a subscriber of the sex and chocolate show, don't forget to subscribe to the new and improved sex and chocolate show!!

     

     

     

     http://www.clickcaster.com/subscriptions/new/142"> alt="Add to ClickCaster" src="http://www.clickcaster.com/images/button.gif" />

     

     

    Humm that didn't work but subscribe anyway!!

     

    x0x0

    ggirl

     

    I promise I won't delete any of these again!!

     

     

    Oh- email me if you want the link to the written chocolate reviews  sexandchocolateshow@yahoo.com

     

     



  • Play this podcast (38mb)
    The Sex and Chocolate Show- Anything Goes intro
    Thu, 28 Sep 2006 17:58:00 -0500

     

     

     

    ggirl plays the anything goes card as an apology to the man and to listeners.

     

    Fuck yeah I have great taste in music!

     

    x0x0

     

    Feels good to be back

     

    word/wordE...whatEver!

     

     



  • Play this podcast (81mb)
    shut the f--k up
    Tue, 26 Sep 2006 10:51:00 -0500

    It's a beautiful day - god damn right.

     

    BT Mc Elrath chocolates     

     

    More great music.

     

    *cocaine comes from the leaves /Rice is Secretary of State



  • Play this podcast (63mb)
    Kittens (don't ask)
    Tue, 26 Sep 2006 10:25:00 -0500

     

     

     

    Don't ask? What- it sounds like kittens!

     

    Good Head-it works!

     

    Blindfold taste test and cafe tasse chocolates

     



  • Play this podcast (69mb)
    The sex and chocolate show- icky chocolate
    Tue, 26 Sep 2006 01:39:00 -0500

    Joseph Schmidt chocolate made by hippies in Ca.

     

    Nipple clamps pass the test.

     

    Adventures in road rage.

     



  • Play this podcast (64mb)
    welcome back show
    Tue, 26 Sep 2006 01:07:00 -0500

    Ggirl and the man return after um..some time off.

     

    Despite singing along to t'pau ggirl proves her most excellent taste in music.

     

    Debrand chocolates hot hot hot.  mmmmmmm

     



  • Play this podcast (76mb)
    The sex and chocolate show-Divine Scandal
    Mon, 25 Sep 2006 21:46:00 -0500

     

     

    Divine Chocolate fucking rocks!

     

    Ggirl has pms but the show must go on

     

    The things people do for chocolate...and sex

     

     

    *chocolate comes from a tree



  • Play this podcast (78mb)
    S&C Show- No B Dude
    Mon, 25 Sep 2006 17:12:00 -0500

    No B dude for ggirl

     

    Ggirl will give it up for Debrand chocolates!

     

    Endangered Species chocolate. Totally rocks. Yum.

     

     

     



  • Play this podcast (73mb)
    The Sex and Chocolate Show- back when it was cool to be a girl
    Mon, 25 Sep 2006 16:40:00 -0500

     

     

    Lindt chocolate

     

    A brief history of sex.

     

    Rockin' out to ELO (we know you love it)



  • Play this podcast (73mb)
    The sex and chocolate show- the banana episode
    Mon, 25 Sep 2006 13:18:00 -0500

     

     

    Make your own sex toys! History of sex toys.

     

    Kshocolat chocolate

     

    sexy songs

     



  • Play this podcast (68mb)
    The sex and chocolate show - no o2
    Mon, 25 Sep 2006 11:25:00 -0500

    Autoerotica and fucking dogs- don't try this at home.

     

    Bruit de sao tome and green and Blacks chocolate

     

             



  • Rock on
    Mon, 25 Sep 2006 08:03:00 -0500

    Thanks to the man, the sex and chocolate show is no longer lost in the far reaches of Hilbert space. Now that's what a side kick is all about! ;)

     

    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (82mb)
    The sex and chocolate show- oops how did that get on there?
    Mon, 25 Sep 2006 00:59:00 -0500

     

     

    Belevedere chocolates

     

    Who's your daddy?

     

     



  • Play this podcast (67mb)
    The sex and chocolate show- introduction
    Mon, 25 Sep 2006 00:03:00 -0500

     

    Ggirl and the man in their debut show.



  • Bummer
    Sun, 24 Sep 2006 10:52:00 -0500

    Looks like uploading the sex and chocolate show is out, because I can't rip CD's to my computer. Sigh...

     

    So..I guess that's that. Sorry folks. (all 2 of you who responded)

     

    x0x0



  • Play this podcast (158mb)
    July 8 2004
    Sat, 23 Sep 2006 08:56:00 -0500

    A few callers thought that this was a boring show, but it's interesting. And, as always the music is great!

     

    x0x0

     

    oh I forgot the feed was off on this one.



  • Things to come
    Sat, 23 Sep 2006 08:44:00 -0500

    To those of you who listened to the sex and chocolate show, I will be uploading the few episodes I had saved to CD here...(my apologies to those of you who actually liked the show..who knew?) long story. In addition I will be uploading a few more past KBFR shows. Oh- and if everything goes as planned, I will be starting a new show sometime in the future too. Possibly with a new side kick..if I can figure out a way to bribe him  ;)

     

    x0x0

    ggirl

     

     

    Damn- I only have like 3 sex and chocolate shows..well if I can find any sex and chocolate groupies who have downloaded all the shows..I'll pay to get a few!!



  • Play this podcast (172mb)
    interview with lorraine and colleen
    Mon, 18 Sep 2006 08:23:00 -0500

    I haven't listened to this recently, so it might be a bit choppy. I can't remember if I edited it at all. Either way there's great music and interesting conversation.

     

    x0x0

    ggirl

     



  • Play this podcast (167mb)
    NO POO UNCUT! w/ Ggirl, Green Kid and Buck Naked
    Fri, 11 Aug 2006 12:25:00 -0500

     

     

     

    The full version, uncut and uncensored. Enjoy

     

    x0x0

    ggirl

     

     

     

     



  • Correction
    Tue, 08 Aug 2006 08:42:00 -0500

    Still waiting to see if I can get the full show uploaded with GK and BN. Hang tight-I hope it will be worth the wait.

     

    x0x0

    ggirl



  • Play this podcast (181mb)
    Interview with Bobby McGee
    Sun, 06 Aug 2006 15:26:00 -0500

    Ggirl interviews Bobby McGee. Tips on training for running and just general talk about life. Bobby is an incredible guy, a wonderful teacher.

     



  • Play this podcast (146mb)
    Interview with Diane
    Sat, 05 Aug 2006 14:22:00 -0500
    Ggirl interviews Diane. Heavy topic. It's too bad that the meeting with the women working on Diane's film that occurred before Diane and ggirl met wasn't recorded because that was really amazing. Still, Diane is fucking brilliant...ggirl not so much..oh well.

     



  • Play this podcast (141mb)
    Natron
    Sun, 30 Jul 2006 18:52:00 -0500

     

     

    Live music set with local musician Natron. Aweseom feedback from listeners. A few special guests join in the fun later in the show.

     

    Recorded 11/11/04

     

    Check out http://www.clickcaster.com/natron  (coming soon) for more music by Natron



  • Play this podcast (86mb)
    Ggirl's last show
    Sun, 30 Jul 2006 16:11:00 -0500

    Someone recorded the tail end of ggirl's last show on KBFR. Unfortunately (or for the listeners, fortunately) the Karaoke obnoxiously belted out before hand was not caught, nor was the kiss with Stella...or the viewing of Green Kid's third nipple! Here is what was recorded. Aside from the occasional trip over ggirl?s tongue it?s pretty funny and, of course, there is awesome awesome music.

     



  • Play this podcast (105mb)
    Ggirl with Green Kid and Buck Naked - No Poo
    Sun, 30 Jul 2006 15:12:00 -0500

    Recorded in the KBFR van in 2004, Ggirl, Green Kid and Buck Naked have some fun. There was some controversy about using the F word, so the group tries (unsuccessfully) to censure themselves. Even though ggirl loses it a bit and at one point doesn't make any sense at all (despite the fact that Green Kid did his best to cover for her) by the time Stella joins the group the show becomes downright hilarious. Keep in mind ggirl has been on the air for nearly 4 hours before she begins to slip.

     

     



  • Play this podcast (139mb)
    Fda Rant
    Sun, 30 Jul 2006 13:53:00 -0500

    Ggirl chats with Dr Rob. Rants about how bad the FDA is and plays some awesome tunes.

     

     

     

     

    For more KBFR shows check out www.clickcaster.com/kbfr

     



  • Trohble trouble
    Sat, 27 May 2006 23:23:00 -0500

    Check out the sex and chocolate show at www.clickcaster.com/sexandchocolate

     

     



  • Edit this
    Mon, 01 May 2006 20:55:59 -0500
    Good God. Edit edit and more edits. This is SO unbelievably tedious! I have one more interview to write out, and then the editing. I thought it would be a snap after paying my editor to edit the damn thing, but Nnnooooooo..Now I have to go through coma by coma, word by word and consider her suggestion! AAK! which reminds me of the article I did. Ok at least with my editor, she's smart and cool and didn't totally rip my piece apart. The magazine? Ick...I still can't bring myself to read it the whole way through. What an embarrassment. I wish I could take my name off it. It's a mess, reads like shit and is dorky as possible. Now everyone is going to wonder what the hell I'm doing chasing a writing career. I can't say too much, because I don't want to lose future jobs, but at the same time, why hire a writer if you're going to just write whatever the fuck you want anyway? And if that's the case, leave my name off it please!!

    The podcast was fun. A little rusty for sure, but it will come.
    Very glad to have certain people in my life right now. Struggling big time with some issues, but can feel an opening in some ways.
    ,br>
    Have to consider getting back to that other job. After the whole Carolyn Myss (sp?) thing..not sure how I feel about it. Then again, I'm about to be thousands of dollars in debt for my hospital stays. Will fight the first one, but who knows what will happen. If my book doesn't get to a publisher, I'm screwed. I have to just get it done this week and give it to my agent ASAP. Scary.

    Better get back to work. Very good at procrastinating today.


  • tres fatigue
    Thu, 20 Apr 2006 08:49:13 -0500

    Yawn.

     

    Uggh, didn't sleep enough.

     

    Sore sore sore. Not just from the surgery either. Conflict and worry from the usual crap. Sigh.

     

    Meeting with D today. B will send a little written something. Shit, with all these amazing people around me, it makes me wonder why I'm so fucked up and stuck. Well, maybe it's changing. Uggh-I only have a little over a week to get everything sent to my (potential) agent. Shit, I hope this works out, because I have had so many rejections it's starting to get to me...and you can see that they really didn't take a look-it's one of those form letters that go out to everyone. I'm wondering now if it's more who you know now how well you write. After reading some of the books that are my "competition", it seems clear that writing is not high on the priority list..or grammar or complete thoughts for that matter. Wasted was good for sure, but the ending was depressing. That's why I'm upping the ante by adding other people's views at the end.

     

    I deleted my other 2 blogs-self censure. Stuipd. Well, I worry people forget that things can be written in the moment and not mean it's the cold hard truth of the situation, just one small blip of a thought at the time.

     

    I so wish I had a podcast. Although lately my confidence is undeniably waning.

     

    heard Csp on the radio for the first time last night-only to sign off early due to the wind (or a smoke break) Not sure what I feel about that whole scenario. I do know that I would be just fine never having to see him again. Some people are just too sick and twisted to not cause harm to others, he is one of those people. Strange that he is great with my niece and nephew and they love him. then again, they don't know the real him. The one who verbally attacks anyone from best friend to mother, brother or sister. It doesn't matter as long as he is putting someone down and viscously making a scene. Very disturbing.

     

    Listened to the new yeah yeah yeah's album-got old fast, but it was still good.

     

    Oooo gotta dash..taking it a bit easier today after a long day yesterday.

     

    When oh when will I move past dial up? Will the internet gods not smile upon me and hand down a broadband offer too good to be refused? Please?? Sigh..or how 'bout a winning lottery ticket..that could work as well, and I could even think about paying these huge medical bills looming in the future..oh shit.

     

     



  • Myspace Down
    Tue, 11 Apr 2006 16:41:13 -0500

    Just when I need it most, Myspace let me down. I can't access my blog.

     

    Never before have I been so emotional. Well, possibly. I take that back. I take everything back. I only wish I could take my life back.

     

    Strange to find such kindness and compassion in the face of strangers, so much so that I cried when I left. To know that it takes people being paid to be there when you need most, and that despite the money, they are compassionate people anyway. And, just when you think that the world isn't so bad, the ones who are supposed to be there sit and yell at you 6 hours after the fact telling you what a fuck up you are and how you brought it all on yourself....just like in my book. And to everyone you smile and say, it's no big deal knowing deep down that the event has shaken you to your core and made you question who you are and if you really want to be here at all. And then you realize that, yes, maybe you are a fuck up and life is shitty, but for that brief moment when the nurse was handing you a strawberry popsicle that she spent 20 minutes trying to find because she knew it would make you smile, you thought wow maybe someone could actually care about...could care period. And she cried too when I left, maybe knowing how deeply she had touched me..or maybe it was just the end of a long shift for her and she was relieved to go home. I don't know. But in her eyes and in mine there was that sadness of meeting someone you may never see again, and knowing that that's a person you will remember for the rest of you life.

     

    Then I come home to find that shitty article. All my hard work looking like a 2 year old wrote it. No flow no rhyme or reason to it. I'm embarrassed to have my name on it. I can't even believe an editor wrote it like that-it's so poorly done that I'm in shock. Yeah, it's money, but at what expense? I certainly don't want people to think that I'm that dumb. Sigh, and another 2 rejections. I just know everyone is all like, I told you so, because you see, I really am a failure. Maybe now that I won't be so fucking sick all the fucking time, it will help. And of course I spent thousands of dollars for all kinds of doctors to give me the run-around, "you're allergic to this" "you need more of that" blah blah when it was something deeper, just as I know. Just as my intuition told me and everyone else said no it's just because you fucked yourself up in the past. yes, I get it. And at the same time, I get it.

     

    And now that I'm out? I feel more alone than ever. Even though there were several people who have just been so kind and supportive-it wasn't at all the people I thought would be..a few yes, but in general I mean. I can hardly walk to the store. It sucks. I'm terribly bloated from the gas they filled my body with for the operation..not sure how long it will take for that to go down.I look like a macy's day parade balloon did get one shoe on today, so that was improvement.

     

    I don't know. I'm depressed right now. My mom has been great. Sort of. She apologized